Neighbours Recap 13-17 July 2009



Lucas continues to owe money he lost in a gambling binge that lasted about 2 separate scenes. This storyline doesn’t seem like it was stuck together at the last minute at all. It’s rather cohesive and fits with the broader character and plot development we’ve come to love.

Anyway, Lucas really needs $4,000, which as dinnerdog points out, shouldn’t be too hard. He decides to sell his motorbike and within two scenes of making that decision has an interested party. Lucas waits patiently to meet the potential buyer at the General Store and is confronted by the dandiest looking supposed tough guy who requests the money he is owed.

Lucas's creditor blows a kiss across the room.

Lucas's creditor blows a kiss across the room.

The bike sale falls through leaving Lucas with a concerned look on his face. Paul notices this look and has a chat to Lucas and randomly offers him pretty much anything he wants so long as Lucas puts in a good word for him to Elle in an effort to get Elle back at the Erinsbrough Times.

Lucas is later confronted by his creditor at tha garage. Although, this time he’s brought everyone’s favourite racist stereotype. No, not Sunny. No one likes Sunny. I am, of course referring to black people and their penchant for boarderline criminal activities. The black guy advances on Lucas and Lucas pleads for a bit more time, which for no clear reason is granted.

I also listen to rap music.  You know, because I'm black.

I also listen to rap music. You know, because I'm black.

I don’t know what happens from there. I alco can’t believe I just wrote out that storyline.

Declan and Didge consider possible candidates for India’s godparents. They initially think Oliver or Riley would make good godparents, you know, because their current relationship to India as uncles is insufficient. Anyway, the episode shows them considering Ringo, Donna and Zeke. Declan and Didge rated the candidates as follows:

Ringo – A meathead with annorexia.
Zeke – They were basically concerned that Zeke would turn India into a fag hag.
Donna – Too hot which will presumably make India insecure about her inherited manly features.

Unfortunately for Declan and Didge the rest of the posse overhears the conversation and assessment via the boby monitor. Don’t worry viewers, that baby monitor will be conveniently used as a plot devise in the future. It’s just so good at overhearing.

Elle has some thing with Paul about why or why not she should work at the rival newspaper and some other crap. Paul continues his decline and folds to Elle’s demands.


Missed the episode. I’d make up a storyline but nah.


This episode has ditched the traditional chronological time sequence in favour of revealing the final scene at the beginning of the episode. The scene shows the car crash and Didge’s man voice growling. The following scene shows a long view of the street with a caption “earlier that day”. Perhaps a graduate or work experience kid was given free range. However it happened it is not followed up or formed into a clever coming of events. It’s just a shit. A piece of shit.

Blah blah blah, the Parker’s leave, there’s all pointless rubbish throughout the episode. Then they are driving along some road all happy families. When suddenly a white horse runs across the road. Yes, a white horse. Fortunately Steve is a good driver and clearly maneuvers around the horse and gets back on the road. Oh, wait, no. The car has somehow rolled on it’s side. It’s very confusing, but since there was a black person in the previous episode we can assume he installed “low-rider” suspension in the Parker’s car.

Don't press the orange button when flying around a corner.

Don't press the orange button when flying around a corner.

The inclusion of this clearly well kept horse seems slightly odd. Perhaps it’s to pander to the pre-teens and their generic obsession with ponys. Whatever it is, I FUCKEN LOVE HORSES NOW. Perhaps the horse can completely replace Didge now. And maybe they can make Didge a horse. Just add straw. Voila! A horse.


Steve manages to climb out of the car wreck to an overture of India crying the exact same cry over and over. It’s almost a recording. Almost. Anyway, it’s not clear if Steve makes any attempt to check on his family and then he collapses on the ground. He does rise again. And then collapses again. Ah, what a waste of an episode. He tries to call Declan but the phone runs out of battery.

I’m sure something else happens in this epsiode but i’m going to ignore it.


Steve is now up and running trying to flag down cars. There aren’t many around so he starts running up the road. He eventually comes to a post box so he follows what appears to be a driveway and comes to the remains of a house. Just as that happens we can hear a lawn mower or something in the background which catches Steve’s attention so he goes on the look out to find this gardener. He finds the road instead and the lawn mower is never mentioned again. a couple of cars are missed and then some bloke stops for him. They go to the crash and Miranda is out of the car unconscious. Steve comments that Miranda is out of the car now and the driver of the rescue car kind of questions why she wasn’t already taken out of the car, but that goes unanswered. It’s unclear if Didge is still in the car or what.

There is also some crap between Declan and No Neck. It’s uninteresting filler.


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