Neighbours Recap 27-30 July 2009


In the aftermath of such a momentus week last week, which happened to include my favourite recurring storyline – a character dying, this week was well below par. Wait, above par? Basically, it wasn’t any good.


Declan handles the difficult task of his wife dying the same way every male on the show does, by being surly for a reasonably brief period of time and blocking everyone else out. It gives his charater an extra depth that makes pretty much all the male characters exactly the same. I’m pretty sure Toady has done the surly thing about a kajillion times. I’d start referring to Declan as “Toady” but that would just get confusing and the joke isn’t even that funny. Anyway, Declan grabs a baseball bat and roughs up the windows on Steph’s car. The Ramsy St residents stand there watching but no one seems to care because Steph is a mechanic and will presumably get a decent deal on new windows. I’d like to know more about the baseball bat. Like why a metal baseball bat and not the classic wooden one? Who has a baseball bat, honestly? Ok, enough about the bat.

The teen posse struggle to come to terms with life after Didge’s death. The episode goes through each of their greiving proceses. For some reason Zeke claims he understands how Declan feels about Steph. Yeh, your dad died, but that was cancer, not you know faulty work by a mechanic, ya dickhead. Zeke goes to the park and does some martial arts. I’ll let the pictures do the talking.

I am Daniel son.

I am Daniel son.

I'm a gopher

I am a gopher

Block the bad

Block the bad

Harness the good

Harness the good

Yoga Flame!!!!!!

Yoga Flame!!!!!!

Fuck Zeke minces arse. I bet the actor actually requested that his character take an interest in martial arts just because it’ll add to the amount I already hate him. What a fuckwit.

Donna hasn’t cried since Didge died which concerns her as she believes that’s a normal way to behave when greiving. I suppose this whole greiving thing hasn’t been that poorly put together (excluding Zeke) but I’m sure Donna’s mood would improve if she touched herself. Or Elle touched her. Either way the world wins.

Sunny and Ringo decide to research what ultimately caused Didge’s death, I can’t remember exactly what it was but I think something was ruptured. Probably her dick. Anyway, Zeke emos out at them for looking it up claiming they are treating Didge’s memory like some kind of science experiment. I don’t think there is a single scene when the teens interact that doesn’t involve Zeke emoing out. Now Rachel, his hot sister, has left the show, why the fuck are the other teens hanging out with him? Sunny tells Zeke she wants time apart from him as he always emos out. I hate Sunny marginally less now.

To the worlds surprise the newspaper plot progressor is used again. Some super investigative journalism for the local rag uncovers a police investigation into some botched mechanic works. Let us watch as Elle manages the various conflicts she has with this particular story. Her editor wants “the inside scoop”. She has a hat with “Press” written on it.

Wait.  Where's my tape recorder?

Wait. Where's my tape recorder?

Tuesday and Wednesday

Honestly so little happens on Tuesday or Wednesday for that matter, so I’ll get right to the meat.

I’m pretty sure last week Steph accidentally admitted to Elle that she and Lucas had a “moment”, which upset Elle. So whenever Lucas or Elle make any kind of physical contact Elle walked in on them. It probably happened about 3 times, which is quite a lot.

The teens have some lame memorial for Didge. Donna cries. It’s all very poignant.

Throughout Wednesday’s episode, people keep commenting to Dan that he is doing too much. I suspect that since Dan hasn’t had a storyline in a while they stuck this together. It’s quite dumb and to be honest it’s ironic. The fact that they haven’t given him any storylines and the first one is about him having too much on is pretty much irony.

I forgot to mention, but in previous episodes someone had been spray painting “Guilty” on Steph’s driveway. This person also photocopied the front page of the newspaper which named and shamed Steph and scattered those photocopies all over the street. Turns out it was Harry. Harry still has no neck.

Harry's face and shoulders.  Missing: Neck

Pictured: Harry's face and shoulders. Missing: Neck

If I remember I’ll refer to Harry as Humpty Dumpty from now on.

Please don't spray paint my way Harry

Please don't spray paint my wall, Harry


Toady is cleaning the spray paint on Steph’s driveway. He and Libby notice a foot print which Toady believes will be the key to finding out who the culprit is. It takes two scenes and Toady finds out it was Harry. Harry becomes Steph’s slave as punishment. Harry yells at Steph for taking a mother’s life and points out he is in a similar position despite not having anything to do with Didge ever. Steph tells him that she’ll have to live with what happened for the rest of her life. They way Steph tells him off is pretty well scripted if I’m honest. Steph’s boobs continue to change size.

Kate Ramsey and Donna are on the organising committee for the deb ball. There’s some bird who appears to have lived for this moment her entirely life. Her character description is “anal”. The first committee meeting is a vote to see who will chair the committee. Kate and Donna win and the other girl takes this as graciously as she can.

Karl has to baby sit Callum and Sophie and he busts out Oddles of Noodles his old money making scheme to copy The Wiggles. It’s funny.

A skivvy.  How original.

A skivvy. How original.

They end up playing a video game and Karl gets quite into it.


Turns out there will be no charges on Steph for the accident by the police. This upsets Declan and he’ll seek to sue her “for all she’s worth.”

Susan arranges a meeting with Paul Robinson and Dr Karl to discuss the possibility of Dr Karl doing a column for the newspaper answering medical questions. I’m not going to bother pointing out the fact that it’s a local newspaper.

Harry apologises to Steph. That’s probably the end of that story.


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