Archive for October, 2009

Neighbours Recap 19 – 23 October 2009

October 27, 2009


Since the alcohol was found in Declan’s locker Dan questions him about its origins, but Declan basically plays dumb (read: stalls to drag out the storyline). Dan calls Rebecca, Declan’s mum, to tell her about the disgusting habits his son has. Rebecca, the owner of the local pub says and this is a fucking serious quote “drinking is something people do when they feel like they are not coping” as she pours another fucking drink for one of her customers.

There are various scenes of Harry feeling guilty for letting Delcan take the blame. The impact on Declan apparently increases as the episode drags on from suspension to expulsion and finally to cancelling the deb, which he won’t be attending. Apparently Dan has no choice but to cancel the deb because someone is clearly trying to smuggle drugs into the deb. Well someone tried to sneak a single bottle of alcohol so logic thought can only lead to drugs. Unless the show is retarded enough to call alcohol “drugs.”

Harry ultimately tells Dan it’s his booze which means the Departments of Family Services are going to pay the Ramsey’s a visit. This makes Kate plain.


Kate has finally decided to go to the debutante ball and damn it, I’m just so excited for her. Keeping with the misogynist traditions of both debutante balls and Neighbours in general, Kate MUST get a date otherwise she’ll be a slapper. See a “deb ball” was originally a way for parents to show of their daughter to potential suitors.

Since she doesn’t have a date at the moment, Lou and Toady are lined up as potential suitors. But at the same time Harry is trying to get Declan to take Kate. This drags out all episode and even includes a scene showing Declan’s disdain for his child for being boring. Declan eventually takes her and I’m just oh so excited for Kate. Perhaps formal attire will spice up her plainness.

The General Store also has a dry-cleaning service. Are these people fucking millionaires that they just take everything to one store and that store acts as some kind of concierge?

There’s also some other dress style discussion between the girls who enlist Zeke’s advice who then goes on to offer hair styles too.

Oh darling, that sounds fabulous!

Oh darling, that sounds fabulous!


The girls all have their Deb partners randomly selected out a hat. I’m guessing this was meant to be some brilliant plot device and not some Deb tradition. Kyle is going with Donna and he is chuffed.

Cunning Kyle

Cunning Kyle

It’s not clear why he is so pleased with himself since he was originally going with Amanda, who 9 out of 10 cosmetic surgeon agree is hotter than Donna. Plus she doesn’t have a douche boyfriend. Amanda gets Ringo and Sunny conveniently gets fagface.

The Deb begins and they do gay Deb traditions like walk down an isle with everyone clapping even though they haven’t done anything. Kate is ever so nervous because her dance coach, Gary Coleman, is watching her walk. As she walks down the stairs with Declan it is clear she is a man.

Even as a man my forehead shines

Even as a man my forehead shines

Ok, so in the build up to this episode there were a few storylines that were directly related to the Deb. First, Dan on a mission to stop alcohol at the Deb. Unsurprisingly Dan isn’t even at the Deb. Second, the green Deb is effectively ignored but for the attempt to cycle energy and have the girls wear recycled clothes. But it’s the message and not the effort isn’t it Neighbours? You fucking hippies. Third, Kate couldn’t get a date and almost went with either Toady or Lou which for some reason was unacceptable. So why the fuck is every Ramsey St resident (bar Dan) at the fucking Deb???? Why? Is it normal?

Haha, Amanda walks over to Kate and says something, which I presume is directed at me.

Amanda hot

Sunny sticks up for Kate and blabs something in Korean, to which Amanda responds “Sunny, no one can understand you even when you speak English.” Sunny response is to fake laugh – Fuck Amanda is the greatest. For some reason Donna, Kate and Sunny believe Sunny got the better of Amanda perhaps adding weight to the theory that all Ramsey St residents are fucking retarded.

Then shortly after Amanda pushes Steph into Kate and gets some shit all over Kate’s dress. Pure awesomeness. Amanda really is the best thing that’s happened to this show in a long, long time.

Most of the rest of the episode is Kate in the toilet sulking and then Declan talking her out of it just so we have the budding of a new courtship rammed down our throats like we were idiots.

The dance starts. Jason Coleman (Kate’s dancefag) is watching intently and apparently Kate stands out in this crowd as a remarkable dancer.

Oh, she's so talented

Oh, she's so talented

Fortunately Zeke takes over the music, you know since he is Lost Boy and changes the pace. Then for no obvious reason a spot light finds Kate and the dance floor clears.

Apparently a benefit of being on the organising committee

Apparently a benefit of being on the organising committee

Kate proceeds to dance around doing that same spin move over and over. This apparently shows up Amanda for some unknown reason. Perhaps she just got served?

Oh no!  Amanda what ever will you do?

Oh no! Amanda, what ever will you do?

Perhaps they’ll take the cross-promotion to the next level and have one of the characters enter a comeptition through a teeny magazine, lets say Dolly, with the prize a 6 month contract on an Australian soapie.

You may recall I mentioned other Ramsey St residents at the deb. So Lucas and Elle are there, fuck knows why. Who cares why they are there, because it’s well worth it. Elle find a bank receipt in Lucas’s suit jacket, he has just withdrawn $2,000 and she fears he has been gambling again. To the viewer’s joy, Lucas isn’t gambling again and it’s also in the viewers interest to ignore the fact that Lucas shouldn’t have any money, for a moment of greatness is upon us.

Lucas proposes to Elle right in front of a bunch of people at the Deb. I bet this going to go well. Fortunately Elle doesn’t say anything and runs away leaving Lucas with his dick face.


Thursday and Friday

I apologise in advance as I missed both Thursday and Friday. I have watched part of Thursday and the highlights of Friday.

Lucas and Elle discuss the proposal and why Elle ran away. Turns out she didn’t know what to say as she felt guilty for hiding the sale of her house from Lucas. He is initially confused and then angry that she would hide it from her. She claims it was to make him happy as he was enjoying looking after her and she enjoyed being looked after, you know, like a good compliant girl. The get over the pointless conflict and Elle agrees to marry him.

Dan is very concerned about this engagement because apparently the stress might cause Lucas to relapse and gamble again. It’s quite difficult for me to comment on the logic behind that thought process as it simply doesn’t make sense to me. Paul also doesn’t want this to go ahead but that’s simply because he hates Lucas which does make sense to me. Lucas and Dan have a dance off to resolve their differences. Unfortuately no one can pull off Kate’s spin move.

At the beginning of the episode Dan drops Callum and Ben off at the Kennedy’s to be baby sat for the day. Despite them having homework to do, Susan sets up an area for the boys to do some painting. We finally pan over to them painting and Callum immediately notes the lameness whilst Ben continues to be a retard. Callum decides to paint over the portrait of the Kennedy’s real children. Callum can’t do long division or multiplication.

Callum is worried about going to high school next year and tries to work out what people will tease him about. He is initially concerned about his height until Harry says he shouldn’t have a girl (Sophie) as his best friend. Callum is fat, surely that would be the most obvious thing.

a representive of The Department of Human Services arrives to assess the Ramsey’s and is so disappointed in the Ramsey’s squalor that she is going to recommend against the current living arrangements. Quite frankly this is ridiculous, but if it means they leave the show then great.