Neighbours Recap 23 – 27 November 2009



Today Harry hunting season started.

That should say "Harry"

To begin the festivities Harry has to be on the run, so lets get him to run away from his foster home. Now, we need to consume police resources chasing Harry whilst the Neighbours residents cover for him as he jumps from house to house. Add in the policewoman’s demand for 6 search warrants when she radios back home and you’ve got a complete disregard for common sense.

Eventually Harry turns himself in and is sent back to the foster home. Apparently the bully has been removed from his foster home. Also the DHS lady informs Lou that today’s bullshit pantomine behaviour has brought into question the appropraiteness of his application for guardianship.

Tensions continue between Dan and Susan, especially when Dan arrives at the Kennedy household to pick up Ben. Ben, who will now be known only as Plotty O’Device, randomly mentions Dan not living with Libby anymore, which is news to everyone else, thus requiring a mouth agape shocked expression across the room. Pretty much everything Plotty says results in that same expression, which can also mean a lot of things (confusion, guilt), so he’ll probably grow up with some kind of discomfort to saying anything at all for fear of awkward silence as a response.


The teens hang out at the hotel talking in clichés until Donna announces she has dressed up mutton as mutton, which seems odd but makes perfect sense as Plain Jane walks down the stairs.

The big p-a-r-t-y kicks off and the teens have multiplied into other teens who don’t have speaking lines. Although one does have a speaking line and he tries to pick up Plain Jane much to Declan’s disapproval.

Declan makes everyone leave the party, so the teens go down to the beach to continue, but Plainy and Declan stay to clean. They get close and Declan finally admits that he likes Plainy’s man-features which clearly makes Plainy happy. She exclaims her joy that finally someone will accept her man-girlness. They pash and she slaps him in the face with her dick.


Declan wakes up the next morning confused about what happened to him the night before and more specifically why his butthole stings. As soon as he realises his bum has been violated he instantly attacks Zeke, but Zeke claims he doesn’t like boys. Everyone laughs.

The teens score free entry to some nightclub so they go out to continue their partying ways. At the nightclub some nightclub employee, we’ll call the Milky Bar Kid, is keen on Donna. Donna and Ringo continue to argue whilst the Milky Bar Kid comments on how cool Donna’s Shrugalero is to demonstrate that he understands what makes Donna tick. Donna fucks him but doesn’t tell anyone. At least someone on that street behaves like a normal teen.

Amongst all the other stuff, some girl who likes Zeke is still around and my fucking GOD she has a secret. She has a bunch of fake IDs in her purse. They aren’t fake IDs for her though, they are instead a template so it would seem she sells them. The template is cardboard, just like all modern proof of age cards…


Dan and Libby are trying the darndest to resolve their marriage issues. Dan, trying to think outside the box grabs Libby, clubs her and takes her into his cave. In the bedroom Toady is chained up in the corner with gimp mask and leather suit, he is procrasturbating while watching Dan and Libby. Libby wakes up to find Dan in the corner with Toady and she decides there is no way to save the marriage. They decide to separate and get a divorce.


In the aftermath of Libby and Dan’s breakup Lucas and Steph seek to comfort their friends. Libby pashes Lucas. Lucas looks like Barney the Dinosaur with sideburns. If I could upload a picture on this computer I would.

In more interesting news, Callum is worried about starting high school next year so he seeks advice from Toady. Unfortunately Toady is still in his gimp mask so can’t offer anything that isn’t retarded and a waste of time. Toady really is redundant – what happened to his new girlfriend Lassie?

Fortunately Paul overhears Callum and starts to explain how to manipulate people. They pretty much have a montage of Paul teaching Callum how to get people to do what he wants. This could be awesome, in that Callum will outsmart the retards on the street constantly. Unfortunately the writers won’t keep it going. Callum has to be a ‘goodie’ and therefore a retard.


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