Neighbours Recap 8th – 12th March 2010



Zeke and Mia are fooling around in Zeke’s bedroom and Mia informs Zeke that she is going to a celebration of women day (or something) at uni later in the day. Zeke offers to come along as her “man bag”, no shit. Then Mia says “haha, that’s awesome, because clearly I’m a fag hag.” I suspect the writers only used “fag-hag” because it rhymes, but for clarity, she is clearly Zeke’s beard.

My apologies, I should provide some background to Mia’s comment. Zeke, in another shameless Channel 10 cross promotion, mentioned how Josh Thomas, of Talking About Your Generation has come out of the closet. Well turns out Zeke has decided to come out too. It’s kind of an anticlimax really, which kind of follows Josh’s situation too.

When I say “anticlimax” I basically ignore Susan’s response.

George Michael has never looked so embarrassed

So Susan spends the rest of the episode trying to convince Karl that George Michael is not a good partner for Zeke. Dan was right, Susan is always meddling in her childrens affairs.

Donna goes to uni, alas, Saffron is a guest speaker at her lecture. Saffron takes some random digs at Donna in front of her university classmates. This makes Donna’s mouth open ever so slightly, because that is actig for all occassions. So, the lecturer returns to the podium and explains a snap assignment will be due at the end of the day. Everyone is given some article of clothing, I think it’s all the same thing and they have to provide some background to what they’ve done. Ok, honestly, I have no idea what the assignment was, but Donna has a snake skin outfit. Except it’s fake snake skin.

She is wearing the snake skin thing at the coffee shop as she tries to get inspiration when Mia and Zeke invite her to the celebration of women day at the uni. She decides to go, in hope of finding some inspiration. What she hadn’t counted on was the unlikely event that a bucket of red paint would be lying somewhere around the university lawn. She also didn’t anticipate a couple of hippies, assuming she is wearing snake skin, deciding to throw the aforementioned red paint all over her.

Imagine what the hippies would've done if she was wearing leather.

It looks like everything is ruined for Donna, but golly, she comes up with some devine inspiration.

Some people present before her and it’s something about snakes in the desert or something, it’s not important. Donna’s inspired “theme” is to present the femine side of snakes. She walks in and turns around and says “snakes menstruate too” which is met by rapturous applause.

Saffron awards Donna the top prize. Later Donna wants more validation from Saffron, who refuses, which kick starts a diatribe from Donna. At the end of her blabbing a gabble of gawking onlookers applaud her. Kind of like last week when Declan and Kate were applauded, only more idiotic. Somehow.


Ok, so this was a pretty weak arse episode. The next couple of paragraphs are not going to be funny. Even by my standards. I almost can’t remember what happened. So. Here. We. Go…

Alright, so I omitted a small detail in yesterday’s episode. Erinsborough only has one police detective, which makes undercover work for him particularly difficult, as I’m sure you can imagine. Well Donna saw Mia talking to detective Skinner at the end of yesterday’s show. So now you know, moving on.

Latter in the episode, Zeke also sees Mia talking to Skinner and this is also confirmed by Donna. Nothing seems to happen on this point.

Karl has some heart related medical issue and winds up in hospital. Dr Karl struggles to be the patient and decides to broadcast his disdain for the hospital service via a telephone call to PirateNet. Following his newly found Italian approach to life, his first comment is to mock the food, requesting aldente pasta in the future. Like-a, Mumma usetta make. Wow, I just realised Karl’s new found continentalism could be a nod to me as a Sydneysider. You know, because Melbourne is like a European city and all. Erinsborough is basically Venice. I don’t really know where this is going but stick with me here.

Now, where's Lassiter's?

Ok, I think I’ve exhausted the anti-Melbourne steam pipe.

Hmm, whatelse happened in this episode. Oh yes, Declan told Kate that she was hot. Kate didn’t know how to take…. Wait. I couldn’t be fucked typing this. Here is a direct quote from the Neighbours website:

Kate’s unnerved when Declan calls her hot. Just what is going on?

Nothing. That’s what.


Almost nothing happens in this episode. This is going to be tough to get through.

Karl’s quest to bring the hospital back to the condition it was in before he left continues. He asks Rebecca and Paul about advertising on PirateNet, but he wants it for free. Honestly, how could it cost any more than a couple of bucks for a 30 second ad. It is an insignificant “underground” radio station.

Anyway, he goes to the hospital to get the results of his tests. Unfortunately he is suffering from an accute case of mangina. The doctor takes pity on Karl and offers him a job at the hospital. Karl is going to take this opportunity to fix the place from the inside out.

Steph has to go back to work at the garage. A plot development that is justified by her having two mortgages. So, yeh, that actually makes sense, if she couldn’t just get another job. Something about being pregnant and working as a mechanic just doesn’t seem right.

Even worse, the garage is so unkempt, it’s now infested with rats.

Lucas has out ratted Rattus P Rattus for Modigliana's love

Modigliana looks a bit like Steph. Anyway, Lucas has a number of cracks at Steph in his usual douche lines and douche face. Toady stops Steph and the storyline drags out.


I actually fell in and out of consciousness during this episode. I’m not sure what to say.

Steph is hanging out with Lucas more and more, which she can’t stop because she is sooooo in love with him. I think enough has been said about the stupidity of this storyline, but it has been expanded slightly.

Callum tells Toady he hates Steph. Right to Steph’s face. It’s pretty good.

In the other storyline Callum and Sophie face off against the bullies. They eventually have to tell Libby, who decides it’s worth calling their guardians. Sophie was stealing tests and giving the bullies the answers in an effort to stop the bullies from dacking Callum. Perhaps she is worried the bullies will take the dacking to its natural conclusion.


Unfortunately I will be away until next week so won’t be able to do Friday’s episode. Let’s just assume it’s shit.


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