Neighbours Recap 3 – 7 May 2010

by

Monday

This week is more about new characters than any actual plot.  To start with, the actress playing Rebecca, informs the viewers “tonight the role of Declan Napier will be played by *someone*”.  So basically the actor playing Declan has bailed and been replaced by some other punter because they didn’t want to kill the character off.

Surely, a character like Declan is prime for the killing.  Firstly, he already has a child, which is something of a liability for the writers to work around. And lets face it, the writers don’t need more challenges.  Secondly, he has finished school, so keeping with tradition, he should leave (refer to all of Toady’s classmates, who left straight after school)

Anne works to de-wedgie herself

So it turns out the Actor who originally played Declan has decided to join the army.  Again, all leads point to being dead.  Instead, he is replaced with a new Zekesque replacement.

Well, it appears Neighbours is all edgy now, with a same sex couple

Paul opens the new Lassiters with a rousing speech about nothing, followed by revealing this, thing:

Perhaps it's symbolic for "gaping plots"

So Naomi is playing the psycho-hose-beast-non-Ramsey-St-resident role and it’s difficult to work out why.  She is keen on Ringo, or Zingo, who appears to be a choad, which is exacerbated by his wearing a singlet.  Jesus, Ringo is working on acquiring the perfect rats tail.  So basically his new persona is two parts Zeke to one part Lucas.  That’s retarded.

R(at)ingo... ZING!

So psycho hose beast is doing whatever she’s trying to do.  It’s all a bit uninteresting, but Zingo’s rats tail does all the acting for him.

The ratty is so distracting, I have no idea what's going on.

I wish we could insert sound clips, because “Declan” is quite clearly gay.

"Fuck, Zeke. We need lube."

 Lube and Zingo.

Tuesday

So Kate is a teacher?  When the fuck did that happen?  Is this the writers attempt to subtly mock Australia’s schooling, or in particular, the quality of our teachers?  I doubt it.

They also neatly introduced the new principal, who no doubt will move into Steph’s old house:

So my options are Steph or Libby? Lame.

Donna is on a mission to prove Naomi is totz lying.  She wanders through the university and sees Naomi kiss and hug some guy.  Donna takes a photo and shows Ringo.  Naomi walks in and the issue is dicussed, then the “other guy” walks in and it is apparently Naomi’s brother.  Later, Naomi pays her “brother” for his acting.  So, Naomi apparently took her 1 in a bazillion chances that Donna would meander by, and then without being able to confirm Donna was there, she manages to have a cover plan.  This ridiculous “considering all options” evil reminds me of the Joker in the Dark Knight.

Wednesday

I'm undecided if they are a gay couple or a lesbian couple

Paul needs to save his business empire and Pirate Net is the first to receive his magic touch.  Learning from mistakes of the past, he continues to rely on 17 year olds to arrange his marketing strategy.  The results are suprising.

Maybe I will buy that pirate hat after all

She is also a new character, her name is Natasha.  She is also the new Principal’s daughter.

Somewhere along the line, Paul mentioned this advertising campaign had a budget into the hundreds of thousands. All that culminated in this.

Money well spent

No wonder Paul is going bankrupt.

Turns out Natasha is under age, so the advertising campaign must be pulled.  The teens sit around and talk about it:

This guy randomly appears and has talking lines. It's odd.

Thursday

Lyn is worried that Dr Doug will talk about Steph’s pregnancy, which will lead to Libby finding out Steph slept with Libby’s ex-husband.  This will reveal that her best male friend knew all along and pretended to be the father, in possibly the most bizarre and ridiculous scenario. 

So to avoid having to expend the effort in explaining that storyline, Lyn works to break up Doug and Libby.  It’s made easy by the side conflict between Dr Karl and Dr Doug.  It’s boring enough that I’m going to ignore it.

What a fucking boring episode.

Well Paul is going to sue the new principal because his daughter pretended to be over 18 and posed in the advertising campaign.

Just in case you forgot

Friday

So at the beginning of every episode involving Declan, Rebecca has her stupid voice over.  Does that mean he is just filling in for the short term?  This new Declan is more suitable as a Zeke replacement.

 Susan and Lyn talk about Libby and Doug’s relationship.  Susan seems to think Doug and Karl are very similar, which is why they don’t get along and that Libby falling for a guy similar to her dad is

"quite sweet"

That shit’s fucked up.  Unfortunately, the next scene takes it a bit further, with Libby requesting a long black at the coffee, or more specifically “the longest you’ve got.”

Lyn points out the similarities between Doug and Karl to Libby in an effort to break them up.  Unfortunately, it reveals the lack of any character depth Karl really has:

  • Doctor
  • Tight with money
  • Plays guitar

It’s also Mother’s Day, which highlights the amount of people on Ramsey Street without a mother.

Lyn is doing the whole online dating thing.  She finds a guy who likes the Rolling Stones and Paul Newman, which she thinks is just gravy.  She is about to send a message to him, when Summer goes insane worried that this guy, who hasn’t given much information about himself, will now have Lyn’s email address.  Holy fuck.  He might spam her email account.

Real spiced ham

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