Neighbours Recap 31 May – 4 June 2010

by

Monday

Remember when you were a small child and you did something so bad your parents stopped talking to you, except to say “I don’t know what to do anymore”?  Well Michael attempts to invoke that sense of guilt a small child would feel on his 17 year old daughter, Natasha (often referred to as “Tash”).  This is all because Tash is an out of control teen. 

I'll put posters on the principal's door. I'm that baddass

Libby nabs Tash putting the posters up and passes her judgement.

You need to dump that Zero and get yo-self a hero. Know what I'm sayin'

Tash then lashes out at Libby by calling her a goody two shoes or something.  Shockingly this storyline doesn’t prompt the wardrobe department into action.

I just don't know how to photoshop a ponytail on to that picture

This does, however, lead to Libby going through two emotions following that scathing comment by one of her pupils:

  • Denial
  • Acceptance

Unsurprisingly, this takes a while.

OK, so Michael and Natasha are new on the street so the writers get some fresh meat to turn rancid.  You know what they shouldn’t do?  Put untested actors in emotionally challenging scenes when they’ve hardly settled on the show.  But they do this and it’s possibly the worst acting I’ve seen.  Includimg the time Katya tried to seduce Ned by walking into the living room in lingerie.  I don’t know why, but that moment has lingered with me for a long time.  It was the perfect storm of the two least talented actors in Neighbours history.

Anyway, Tash slaps Michael and runs away.  Do you remember when you were a kid and you’d walk up to a friend slap your leg with one hand and pretend to slap them with the other, attempting to fool onlookers?   I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what Tash did.

Everything in this picture is more realistic

This guy is pretty chuffed with a good slap

Tuesday

Ringo decides that he wants to be a labourer or something.  Donna buys him a tool belt and exclaims “I can’t wait to see you use a jackhammer.”

Zeke enjoys that thought a bit too much

Summer is talking about Toady and Steph’s wedding when Tash interrupts as follows:

Tash:  Weddings again great.
Summer: Blah blah wedding blah.
Tash: anyone else bored by this *eyes roll*
That Guy: At least the food sounds good.
Summer: I just really want to help them out.
Tash: Why? You’re not even related.
Summer: Right. What is your problem?
Tash: Stupid talk about lame weddings sums it up really.
Summer: They’re my family.
Tash: Reality check. No. They’re not.
Summer: Steph is my step-mother.
Tash: Ex-Step mother!

She could be a guest recapper!

Anyway, so Tash has a super secret, she’s a maths nerd.  It’s outrageous, because popular girls can’t have academic pursuits.  Summer watches Tash in her Matheletes group then tells Tash she’ll tell everyone, she even has it recorded on her ipod.  With this, Summer blackmails Tash into being nice to everyone for fear of her nerd secret being revealed.

Lyn is pushing for Steph and Toady to have a large grand wedding, for reasons unknown.   Paul has decided to offer Toady a job as his lawyer, but Toady doesn’t want to do it because Paul is a baddy or something. 

Wednesday

Zeke gets his provisional driver’s licence, with apparently only four minor mistakes.  Donna also plans to get her driver’s licence and Lucas offers to teach her.  Apparently everyone has forgotten how many times Lucas has crashed his car and motorbike.  He really shouldn’t be considered fit to be a mechanic.  Couldn’t she get her superdad to teach her?  Isn’t that A-grade Neighbours sickly sweet material?

Anyway, Zeke challenges Donna to see who can get their licence with the best score.  Zeke also decides that the winner gets to decorate the loser’s car.

OMG, Donna! I'm totally going to fabulise your interior

Thursday
 
Paul really wants Toady to be his lawyer, so he flashes money at him.  Apparently the writers lack the ability to recall other current storylines, like Paul almost being bankrupt.  Anyway, Toady accepts the job to get the extra money and have that absolutely necessary big wedding.
Jimmidy Jelleckers, Batman.  It’s GAZEY!

Gaze, Andrew Gaze

Now for full disclosure, I’ve been into basketball for a very, very long time.  As a Sydneysider, I grew up hating Gazey because he always played in Melbourne.  These days Sydney doesn’t have a team and Gazey finally quit playing professionally in 2005, just before his 40 birthday, so i’ve been able to accept Gazey as legend.
Gazey is in town to offer Harry a scholarship to a basketball academy.  Two things:

1. Harry is clearly not good at basketball.  He heavily favours his right hand and looks down at the basketball when dribbling.  Hallmarks of an inexperienced player.
2. Harry isn’t tall.

Gazey offers Harry the scholarship and doesn’t get any good lines or anything to subtely mock Harry.  Not even a wink.  Nothing.
Lyn is outraged that Toady is going to represent Paul.  The Steph and Toady plot has now exhausted Paul’s two character traits – rich and evil.
Friday
 
Perhaps Toady could advise Paul to stop using small children to manage supposedly important parts of his business.  He gets Declan to organise a meet and greet for PirateNet clients.  Declan is surly for no obvious reason.
Declan’s new found temper boils over when one of the clients at the function gropes Kate’s behind.  I really cannot accept this new Declan, he simply doesn’t suit the previously established character.
Paul finally sacks him.
A job comes up to teach mechanics at Erinsborough High, so both Steph and Lucas apply.
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