Neighbours Recap 12th – 16th July 2010

by

Monday

Ellen is pulling out all the stops to break up Donna and Ringo.  First he hires some gay dude to try and pick up Donna.  When that fails he pays the gay guy $70 presumably for services rendered (wink wink nudge nudge).  That money would’ve been much better spent getting him to hit on Ringo.  Since that fails, Ellen pulls off her shirt in an effort to entice Donna.

Apparently lesbians don't count as women so aren't censored

Ellen is fresh out of ideas.

The writers are fucking idiots.  Ok, so Lucas hasn’t really had a storyline for a while and, quite frankly, that’s great.  But he keeps having bit part roles in other character’s storylines.  The problem is, Lucas is a fuckwit of a human/rat hybrid.  In this instance, Lucas is chastising Andrew for attempting to break up a couple.  Clearly the writers have already forgotten that Lucas tried to do that exact thing with Steph and Toady no longer than two months ago.

Ringo is heaps pissed at Ellen.  To add insult to injury, Ringo punches the air near Ellen and Ellen falls to the ground presumably from a sonic boom.  I doubt it, but hopefully these screencaps do the shitness justice.

Like a Kangaroo's tail, Ringo's rats tail keeps him balanced

I’ve been at pains to get this picture at the exact moment Ringo “hits” Ellen.

Don King obvious organised this fight

Ellen runs away.

Kate has to decide between a career in dancing or teaching.  It quickly becomes clear that Sophie has no character or purpose on this show.  Also Kate is fucking annoying and also has no purpose on this show.  Callum, however, is most excellently rad.  Kate chooses teaching.  Whilst that was a painful 15 minutes of nothing hopefully it means no more dancing.

You got Serrrrved

Wow that joke was rather shit.

Tuesday

Fuck this was a shit episode.

Turns out Ellen ran all the way to Summer’s house and stayed the night. 

Rebecca:  Paul, get Ellen to move back home.

Paul: No.

*Pause*

Paul: Ok.

Libby really wants to be the Godmother of Steph and Toady’s child.

Libby: I want to be the Godmother

Steph: No.

*Pause*

Steph: Ok

Deadset that was the most pointless episode in the history of Neighbours.  Both plot arcs were deadends just like Ramsay St.

Wednesday

Ellen loves the pussy

Probably the worst joke so far this recap.

The teachers have a staff meeting and it is pretty clear half the teachers live on the same street.

Nepotism

If the classic TV show Teachers taught me anything, all these people are hung over and don’t care.  Lucas decides they should go and get pissed at Charlie’s.  There’s some conflict between Libby and Michael, but who cares?  Wait, that’s going to be the plot of this episode?  Fuck.

Libby orders a curry

Dr Doug’s heart breaks at the token reference.  Whatever happened to that guy?

Also Tash finds out Ellen tried to hit on Donna so she dumps him.  Callum laughs.

Knowing Tash will end up in his tender embrace

Thursday

The back of Alf Stewart's head makes a cameo

If you haven’t already, google “doodleburger” and enjoy some comedy.

Some band called Kram is going to play at Charlie’s tonight, but Rebecca can’t get security or something.  Honestly, I’m watching all these episodes in a row to write this recap and… Wait a second.  Kram is that douchebag from Spiderbait.  What a cock.  Just look at him.

Ha, someone else agrees.

So Declan and Zeke are going to be bouncers.

Are you on the list?

Friday

Kram, the dickhead that he is, even douches his make-belief fans.  Leaving Delcan and Zeke to deal with the crowd.

Rabble rabble rabble

Fake-Declan has completely ruined the Declan character.  Just look at him.

I wonder why he is always so testy

*Insert some joke about the male genitalia and Declan being gay

Paul finds out about Toady and Steph’s secret.

*     denotes me being too lazy to come up with a joke.

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