Neighbours recap 16-20th August 2010

by

MON

Fake declan is now the new head of lassiters. He sits resplendent in his fake office

to think , this is the same character who had to perform a striptease to settle a bill at the hotel restaurant not 6 months ago. If they were just going to insult the viewer’s intelligence anyway, why not have callum become the new head of lassiters? At least there’d be hijinks.

It seems someone within the neighbours team felt that the episodes a couple of months ago that dealt with Karl’s lost parrot was too meagre a farewell for this cherished pet, which may or may not have ever been mentioned or seen on the show before or since karl lost it. Actual human characters have disappeared from the show with less dramatic pageantry.

remember this guy?

At any rate, Karl is convinced that Lou has stolen the parrot. I’m sure this storyline won’t prove to be worthless.

Still riding high on the hog, feclan produces his business card with a flourish and tells Kate that his new job has made her ‘the first lady of lassiters’. They need to get rid of this clown, or marginalise him with lost parrot stories instead of weighty, dramatic plotlines that reveal only too starkly his failings as an actor. And his failings as a man

Actually, fake declan does a pretty good job of that himself

Isn’t erin a girl’s name? Anyway, Kate, concerned that she’s going to go the way of Summer and have her boyfriend humiliate her by coming out, dumps him.

TUE

In a bid to make her jealous, Fake declan zhooshes over to Kate’s to show off his new love interest

 

and to reveal his plans to open a bakery within the lassiters complex, such is the demand for his "hot buns"

 Over at charlie’s, poor pathetic ringo’s bucks party is a lame affair, featuring fake declan, lucas, zeke and the local high school principal.

Lucas strides up to the bar and announces that he’d ‘like to grab two jugs’

he'd better not go to kate's house then, she's fresh out

 

Zeke takes his acting seriously, so when the script demanded that he have a sip of beer, he bravely accepted the challenge. Nose pinched between thumb and forefinger, Zeke’s tentative intake of its foamy head left him disgusted, not that he let it show on his face

"eww, it's so bitter!" Zeke remarks, cattily. "They should name it after my ex boyfriend!"

With performing at children’s birthday parties not yielding the rockefeller riches she was anticipating, Candance has decided to supplement her income with some police work

Fake Declan and Kate agree to pretend to be together until after the wedding, on account of Donna. A couple pretending to be in a relationship in order to spare the feelings of a close mutual friend? Why does that sound so familiar? Oh yeah, the writers, they’re shit.

WED

After being ridiculed by Tash on piratenet, Libby confronts Michael in his office, demanding they have the ability to impose some kind of control over the broadcasts. Suddenly, out of nowehere, Zeke pops up:

"That sounds like censorship!" he chimes in

What was zeke even doing there? He’s not a student at erinsborough high.

Donna is keen to impress Ringo’s mum by pretending to be old fashioned and homely. Unfortunately she didn’t factor her own idiocy into her shrewd plan. She mentions that she grew up out in the country but is then thrown off guard by the diabolical follow up question: “yeah, where abouts?” Clearly unused to debating with such a skilled opponent, Donna opts not to answer, and instead..well.. you know the phrase “grinning like an idiot”? I never really knew what that looked like, until now

Summer hosts a radio show, which she’s chosen to call Summer Breeze.

well i have noticed she's been ordering a lot of long blacks from Harold's recently

Incidentally, when did summer turn into Lisa Simpson? Her sense of moral superiority and know it all-ism has become insufferable. Have the writers actually forgotten that they introduced her as a prank-pulling bad girl a few months ago?

THU

Lucas keeps referring to the school superintendant as “boss-man”, like a 19th century negro slave. It is highly irritating.

Because it suits the writer’s cynical homo-friendly agenda, chris is now a main character, with his own plotlines and everything. Today’s drama focuses on the big basketball match against the west waratah wombats or some shit. “Look!” Plotsy points out to chris “They’re sledging us already!”

what sledging looks like, apparently

Toadie thrusts his genitals into the face of an unsuspecting Lyn.

On the basketball court, Chris demands that his team-mates start calling him ‘magic johnson’, not out of a desire to be compared with the legendary lakers point guard, but because he wants a kickass alias for his future career in gay porn and wants to get in early so that the name will stick.

Later, Chris gets suspended for fighting with the opposition’s basketball captain. His parents then kick him out. Summer insists that he can stay with her and appeals to Lyn. Unfortunately these appears fall on deaf ears, as Lyn has fallen into a catatonic state following her sexual abuse at the hands of toadfish.

FRI

Kate meets fake declan and abuses him. She then justifies this outburst by saying that she needed ‘to get stuff off her chest’

well, looks like she's certainly accomplished that

Paul pleads with rosemary to fire Diana. He then tells Diana the news, gloating as he does so that she should have never messed with him, as though he’s just executed a machiavellian masterstroke rather than a whimpering appeal to his auntie.

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One Response to “Neighbours recap 16-20th August 2010”

  1. Jimbo Says:

    Hilarious! This makes watching the real show so much better.

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