Neighbours Recap 6th – 10th September 2010



Dr Doug makes a token appearance in the hospital as his contract gradually expires.  He updates fake-Declan on Paul’s condition.

"Yeah, so his coma is still convenient to the plot. So, ummm, yeah"

Having seen the footage showing fake-Declan at the construction site, Ellen is convinced the pusher is fake-Declan.  Well that is until he questions fake-Declan and fake-Declan calmly responds that Paul doctored the footage.  Ellen briefly doesn’t believe him but kind of just gives up.  This, unfortunately, is a common theme of this weeks storylines.

Donna is moving into the Kennedy’s house and she is worried she won’t fit in.  This actually becomes a storyline, somehow.  Apparently Zeke is moving into Ben’s room as Zeke and Ringo having been sharing a room this entire time.

Zeke's was the pink half

Later on the teens are having dinner with Susan and there is some attempted humour or something.  Then Zeke offers to get dessert and returns promptly.

With an ice-cream called a Gaytime.

The props department must be high-fiving each other right now.

Ellen, continuing his quest to find the pusher, asks Susan if she knows anything.  Because, you know, she is a journalist at a local paper so has experience investigating attempted murder.

The police are really going all out investigating this attempted murder.  I’m surprised they haven’t taken this opportunity to cross-promote and get the NCIS crew on the case.  A guy is following Ellen and putting in no effort to be inconspicuous so we assume he is a journalist because nothing else would make sense.

Nup. Just a shit detective

The teen investigators Summer, Tash and Ellen decide to investigate Sonya, because she has a bad history, as a gambler.  This show really is fucking shit.  Sonya has a prior assualt charge to her name.


So Sonya broke her sister’s arm, accidentally, during an intervetion for her gambling.  I’m glad Sonya has been included in this storyline, it really wouldn’t have been complete without her pointless backstory.

Ellen finds out that Paul cheated on Rebecca which makes him sad.

Which seems completely at odds with his efforts break up Rebecca and Paul over the last couple of months.

This never happened

Damn it, I wonder if there is a way to recap this show without watching it.

Anyway, Michael has taken an unusual interest in Rebecca’s welfare.  I guess she is almost single.


Lucas is looking for a new burrow to fester in.  Which is perfect timing because the very next scene shows Sophie and Kate trying to put together a bookcase.  Oh dear, they really need a man.  Apparently Lou isn’t a man.

Kyle also wants to move into The Ramsay’s house so it’s between Lucas and Kyle.  No doubt Lucas will win.  Despite living with children, having no job or income as well as a criminal record and that’s not even considering his physical likeness to a rat, he’ll still somehow manage to procreate.

The detectives arrest Diana Marshall for conspiracy to murder.  I presume they have evidence she tried to arrange Paul’s death.  Then I realise the writers are idiots.

That's why it's "conspiracy", dickheads.


Toady arrives at the police station to talk to Diana.  We are left to assume that she called him to represent her as there is no other reason for him to be there.

He's not wearing a vest so we can assume he isn't a lawyer in this scene

Instead he starts questioning Diana as if he were a detective.  It’s a bizarre scene to say the least.

Susan continues to get messages on her mobile from some anonymous online stalker/bully.  It’s difficult to work out why this anonymous person would bother messaging Susan.  But I suppose she is a journalist for the local (read: international) paper.  The messages still seem to indicate that Diana has been arrested for pushing Paul.  When she was clearly arrested for attempting to arrange a murder.

Now he is in lawyer mode. Charlie's is his office. Confidentiality is not his concern.

I couldn’t be bothered explaining the backstory to this but Kate and fake-Declan humped on the couch.  Fake-Declan is a terrible actor and even less convincing as a straight male.

Susan goes to see Diana in jail.  As soon as Diana sees Susan she says “if you’re here to buy my story, you’ll have to see my agent.”  Clearly unaware that Susan works for a local suburban newspaper.

Susan writes her article.

Clearly unaware that it is against the law to print a mugshot of an alleged criminal.

Luckily the West Warratah Star is also on the case.

The love hearts are a nice touch


Donna arrives at Kate’s house and finds Kate dressed in modern nun attire.

I even sought female confirmation that the top is terrible.

Dr Doug makes another depressing cameo.  He actually wasn’t too bad a character.  I fondly remember that time Lucas tried to befriend him and he walked away.

So yeah. We need to develop the annonymous messages to Susan a bit more. So yeah, Paul's condition is unchanged.

Steph calls Toady and tells him her decision to give the baby to Dan.


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