Neighbours Recap 29th November – 3rd December 2010

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Monday

Toady doesn’t want to leave the prison, which really gets Sonya’s pickle, she complains that he ‘wants it both ways’.

goodwood Toady likes himself some ‘good wood’ – both ways.

Toady Seriously, he really does like himself some wood.

Sonya has also found her way into the opening titles.  To celebrate her recurring role, Toady and Callum ask her to move into the house of trouser.

dack Not sure why they took their pants off.

Sonya says “Yes” and then “No” so I’m guessing the answer is no.  That’s followed by Toady being creepy.

“Oh, she’ll be moving in.  I’ll make sure of it.”

So I’ve pointed out before how plain and boring Kate is, well that is until I happened upon her Wikipedia entry.  It explains that she is ‘strong’, ‘a natural leader’, ‘agony aunt’, ‘mature’, ‘independent’ and ‘trustworthy’ which are all sweetened up ways of saying ‘boring’.  What’s even  more interesting is this little gem:

In February 2009, it was announced that Neighbours producers were introducing a new generation of the Ramsay family to the show.[1] Executive producer Susan Bower said the introduction of the new characters was based on the American drama series Party of Five.

So Susan Bower, the executive producer, is openly admitting she is a hack.  Since there are so many actors leaving the show, here are some more places Susan Bower could take ‘inspiration’:

rodney_dangerfield

lloyd bridges

imagesCAL6URHD

And because the cast needs some cleansing

american psycho

I know, I’m dreaming.  Instead it’ll be lame shit like

dawsons-creek 

Kate, true to her strong leadership character, is peeing herself at the idea of going on a date with Detective Brennan, who will henceforth be known as Fabio due to his previous vocation as a male model.   Donna decides to enlist Zeke to help Kate prepare for her date.

Zeke is a fag Zeke assures Kate that male models like bananas.

Tuesday

Kate and Fabio go on their first date, but Donna lurks in the background prompting a terrible police joke by Fabio.  Surely that’ll be the last time he does that, but I doubt it.  He has a really, really annoying voice.  He leaves to plan for the date.

All storylines at the moment are based on the tired and tested formula of love triangles.  So Declan decides to meddle in Kate’s affairs, which only exposes his terrible acting. 

DEclan Nice jacket dumb head

Kate’s baggage is too much for Fabio.

fabio He has one last stab at humping her back and then leaves.

Callum is coming up with ideas to convince Sonya to move in.  He suggests getting a dog and calling it Apollo Creed.

apollo creed How could Sonya refuse such a rad idea

She couldn’t.  She moves in with Toady and Callum.  Well not without giving Karl the chance to reconcile with Toady.

Wednesday

summer

Summer isn’t wearing he school blazer, perhaps she isn’t in Lisa Simpson mode for today’s episode.  She gets a detention, so I’m starting to think that blazer has super powers controlling Summer’s righteousness. 

Her self esteem is low, because Ellen doesn’t want her and her tenuous link to Ramsay Street has been put in jail, so maybe this detention is the perfect opportunity for her to get a new crush on Nelson Muntz.  I mean Griffo.

5851i

Kate finds out Declan was lying to her about being punched in the head by Fabio.  

DEclan It was the physical embodiment of all that is opposite to Fabio – Lucas

Kate tells Declan to fuck off.  She refers to him as no longer a friend, but just another person living on the same street.  Perhaps she doesn’t understand how Ramsay Street works. 

Anyway she goes and makes out with Fabio whilst a gaggle of onlookers make suggestive noises, because that is standard practice for these teens (see Donna and Ringo at uni, Declan and Kate at Uni and Zeke and, well you get what I mean).

The wardrobe department really doesn’t like Tash.

tash

It’s revealed that Summer stole the money for the school social.  She explains to Michael that she stole the money to stop Summer and Ellen hanging out together.  Michael doesn’t flinch.  She pleads with him to not let Andrew find out because she loves him.  Susan Bower is ruining Tash like a Japanese banquet.

Thursday

The love triangles in today’s episode overlap so much that it is more of a love hexagram.

hex 

Tash is currently dating Andrew and she is Michael’s daughter.  Michael has a crush on Andrew’s step mother Rebecca.  Rebecca seems to be interested in Michael, because her marriage to Paul is kind of a sham.  Summer doesn’t have any family ties to this shape, kind of like her ties to Ramsay St.

Rebecca and Michael plan to meet in the park, but as she waits for Michael to arrive Paul appears and springs a surprising wedding on her to renew their vows.  This seems like a slightly over the top way to interrupt Michael coveting his Neighbour’s wife.  Perhaps there is a wedding quota Susan Bower has to achieve to collect her annual bonus.  Why not introduce a new character Bob the Mormon.

Mormon  Unlimited weddings here we come.

After much deliberation Michael comes to a conclusion on how to punish Tash.

Deliberation Deliberation

Tash has to return the DVD player to the store and give the money back to the school.  Her pocket money is cancelled and she is suspended from school for a week and he won’t be telling anyone why she was suspended, because there is no accountability when suspending a student at Erinsborough High.  Presumably the school social will be back on, which could only occur because someone has returned the money.  Surely her classmates are cluey enough to realise she is suspended and therefore conclude that she stole the money.

idiot Wrong

Tash tells Andrew that she was suspended for sending him sexy text messages.  Andrew is obviously confused between a parent grounding a child and a principal suspending a student from school.

idiot Idiot

Andrew also attempts to break up with Tash because he really loves Summer.

idiot Idiot

Friday

With Steph gone I was kind of hopeful Lyn would fuck off too – no dice.  The plus side is that even with all the Steph centric storylines, Lyn has hardly had any screen time.  Unfortunately at the beginning of this episode I’m reminded of why I hate Lyn.  She attempts to take some chocolate (because what else would a girl want when she is down?  Ok, maybe ice cream too) to Steph but isn’t allowed to give it to her.  She then does her standard flustered acting, WHICH I FUCKING HATE.

Michael tells Rebecca that they can’t do “this” anymore.  I’m guessing that “this” is borderline adultery.  It was such a heart tugging moment.  I mean, Rebecca and Michael’s relationship which budded a month ago over 80s music and absolutely nothing else, will never be able to blossom.  I.  I. I think I’m just going to have to cry.

Michael *sob, sob* they’ll always have 80s music

And nothing else.

Rebecca slides a note under Michael’s door telling him, that despite all the difficulties, she loves him and he is the best thing in her life (which isn’t that big a statement considering Declan is her son).  It also says that she is on her way to the bus stop to go away for a while.  Michael, the romantic he is, quickly drives after her, but is obstructed by road work.

Michael Overcome by urgency, Michael decides to run the rest of the way.

Michael But Rebecca is already gone.

Dreams are shattered.  This is so crushing the writers should’ve saved it for the end of year finale.

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