Archive for January, 2011

Neighbours Recap 17th – 21st January 2011

January 25, 2011


The week starts off in typically lazy directorial fashion.

Rebecca I wonder if she’ll happen to bump into someone as she does the only non-collecting the mail chore that requires one to step outside.

Turns out Rebecca’s timing was perfect to see Michael’s heroic return from hospital.

Michael Lucas has two utes.  This crappy one and a fancy one.  Why would a person with huge debts need two utes?

Well if the director is being thoughtless and lazy, the hairdresser is working overtime meeting Declan’s demands.

Declan“How could you not believe I have a romantic interest in a girl?”

Because you’re clearly gay, Declan.  Anyway, Toady and Callum return from their holiday.  It seems that all the exercise real life Toady (Ryan Someone-a-rather) has done to lose weight, and score promotional opportunities, has resulted in an injury to his knee.

NeighboursIt is explained as a flying fox injury.  At least it wasn’t completely ignored.

So Sonya’s BIG SECRET – her sister, Jade, was adopted.  Wait, sorry, that’s actually plausible and not retarded.  Instead Jade and Sonya’s uncanny unresemblance goes completely ignored.

So Sonya’s real BIG SECRET – She is Callum’s real mother.  For real.  Just let that marinate for a bit.

Let us go through this a bit more.  Yes, lettuce.

So Sonya, working as a guide dog trainer just happened to be teamed up with a Toady and Callum who also randomly decided to adopted a guide dog.  She then lives with them for 18 months too, really? 

taboulehToo, really = tabouleh.  Work with me here.

When Jade hears Callum introduce himself she immediately realises that he is the son Sonya gave up for adoption despite Callum being an entirely common name, which was just cheesy and grates me. 


At some point, hopefully in the not to distant future, the secret is going to be revealed.  Toady and Callum will have to decide if they can trust Sonya, even though she is surely going to be all well intentioned, but boy, will her face be red.  Like a tomato.


Since they will keep pushing the “perfect family” angle, I bet the saucy secret will be revealed at a street BBQ.

bbq sauce

So, ummm yeah, how bout that lavash?


I think that about wraps it up.

chicken kebab


Sonya cries because she has cankles.


Or maybe the actress playing Sonya was already crying after realising her stint on Neighbours is going to ruin her career.  The ridiculousness that Sonya could possibly be Callum’s mother will no doubt be the harbinger of doom for her character, job and career.

Groan.  Sigh.  Groan.  I fucking hate this show. 

Just as Sonya is about to reveal her big and totally not retarded secret, Toady interrupts her and reveals he purchased a family pass to their favourite football team.  Sonya realises how perfect and happy and “family” everything currently is, she decides to drag out this storyline.  Jade, who had continuously oinks her desire to reveal the truth, ultimately comes to the same conclusion, for the same banal reason – family.

Family-Guy Banal, indeed.

So the insurance company has denied Lyn’s claim citing electrical failure as the reason.  Apparently Lyn’s contents insurance is unlike any other coverage in the market and does not cover electrical failure.  Also, that Lyn would renew her insurance with the intention of committing insurance fraud by that means, but she is dumb enough not to realise that it is not covered. 

192-0820150205-darwin_awards If only she died in the fire.

Anyway, the insurance company has denied liability and Lyn has accepted as such.  Apparently her insurance broker has been involved in the claim, perhaps he would suggest Lyn pursue legal action against the manufacturer of the Christmas lights.  Instead the broker provides Paul with details of the insurance claim, because Paul is the father of one of the victims.  Lyn should now sue her broker, firstly for negligence in not suggesting she pursue the manufacturer and secondly for a breach of the Privacy Act.  She could hire Sam.

So Paul armed with this knowledge has decided to make Lyn his pet monkey.



If you haven’t already watched Wednesday through to Friday’s episodes but intend to at some point.  Don’t bother.  Nothing happens.

So Andrew remains in hospital, apparently bedridden.

Neighbours I guess that poo around his mouth has made him sick.

Neighbours Summer just couldn’t wait to give him a big kiss

Neighbours Tash can’t understand why her two friends have shit on their faces.

It’s because Andrew is cheating on you with Summer.   


The fire caused some kind of injury to Tash’s neck.

Neighbours Which has all but crushed her dreams to become a model

Ok, so I get that Tash is hot and, yeah, maybe she could be a model.  If she were about a foot taller.  So the entirety of the episode is split between Tash worrying about her now imperfect skin and Donna no longer wanting to leave to go to New York because she might not be good enough.

Neighbours Wahhhh!  Waahhh!  Everyone on Ramsay St should take time out of their day to convince me to go to New York.  Waahhhh! 


After a long montage showing Lucas as a loner with no friends he eventually heads to Charlie’s to drink by himself and annoy the bartender.  Just as he is about to leave his phone rings.


It’s the guy who, a few weeks back, purchased Lucas’ toolkit at a rather inflated price so Summer could buy Steph a snazzy suit to wear as a farewell present in court.  Apparently he and Lucas met in rehab.

lucas-face-1 Which is a great opportunity for me to recycle this classic

His new found friend takes no time in convincing Lucas to allow him to store some “boxes” in Elle’s garage.  He offers him $50 for the night and Lucas accepts.

Neighbours Because $50 is a lot of money, apparently

Which is kind of confusing.  Are we meant to assume that the writers/prop department are retards and think $50 is a lot of money or that Lucas is incredibly dim-witted. 

Neighbours And slack jawed.

Donna continues to be unconvinced by her fashion skills despite being the proud creator of the shrugalero, as her super-dad repeatedly points out.  It goes to the point where nearly all the Ramsay St residents try to convince her to go to NY, culminating in this.

Neighbours The wardrobe dept really does put in more effort into characterisation than the writers do.