Neighbours Recap 28th February – 4th March 2011



After a night of humping, Rebecca has finally engendered enough trust, Paul decides to sign an affidavit somehow releasing Rebecca of whatever concerns she previously had about leaving him.  Now I’m no lawyer, but it’s fair to assume affidavit means Rebecca’s contract is about to expire so the storyline must be accelerated so she can leave.  And he can leave the way he came.

Declan_large Via the backdoor.

She and Declan leave Paul and move into a non-Lassiter’s hotel.

Tash tries to start a rumour that Zeke and Summer have hooked up, she begins by sowing the seeds in Nerd Girl’s nerd ear.

Neighbours Wait a second.  Where’s Nerd Girl’s pony-tail???

She then tries to spread the rumour further by telling her dad, the school principal, in an effort to get Zeke in trouble as an employee of the school.  It’s not obvious why she wants Zeke in trouble, but anyway, Michael quickly dismisses the rumour without any consideration at all.  Probably the most sensible thing Michael has done in a long time.

Neighbours Really, another vest?


Paul, distraught that his attempted murdering ex-wife has left him, decides to look at a shoebox of receipts.

Neighbours Relieved of the fear of another attempt on his life by his wife, Paul prepares his tax return.

Paul’s mini-audit reaps instant rewards as he discovers a rogue receipt for a men’s wallet.

Neighbours “It couldn’t be Declan’s, he has a purse” his inquisitive mind theorises.

He wraps his brain about this “men’s wallet,” until sepia comes to the rescue.

Neighbours Michael had a new wallet.  Such a nice wallet it prompted Paul to make a memorable comment about it whilst Michael was in hospital.

Paul, concerned that Rebecca may have given Michael the wallet as a gift, possibly breaching the Fringe Benefits Tax laws, continues his audit as he digs deeper into the receipt box.

Neighbours“Oh dear.  I hope she hasn’t claimed these personal calls to Michael as a tax deduction” thinks Paul.

Realising the gravity of the situation, Paul rushes to Charlie’s where he finds Rebecca and Michael.  Paul looks around to make sure Detective Underpants isn’t around, you know, just in case Underpants’ role as a detective also includes working for the Australian Tax Office.  He does his best to explain to Michael and Rebecca that tax fraud is a serious crime, but Michael is more interested in talking about sex, bay-bee!

salt and pepper So those are salt and pepper shakers, in case that reference didn’t make sense.

Michael is disgusted when he finds out Rebecca has been sleeping with Paul.  Is that like the adulterer becoming the adultered?  Are we meant to be at all sympathetic to the “other guy?”

Cobra Commander Even Cobra Commander has a better sense of morals.

Michael decides he cannot see Rebecca anymore, which is followed by their secret being revealed to Andrew and Tash.


Tash cannot understand her father’s actions and Michael is unable to explain or justify why he was sleeping with a married woman, the step-mother of Tash’s boyfriend.  Tash also takes the opportunity to quiz Andrew about cheating, but he doesn’t take the bait.  Leaving us a faint hope that the fake pregnancy storyline will be resolved very quickly.

Neighbours Go on, put an end to it.

Unfortunately Tash remains fake-pregnant for the foreseeable future.

Now that Paul is no longer married to Rebecca, I presume he can push Declan back down Lassiter’s corporate ladder.

snakes and ladders I bet he’s looking forward to going down that snake.

Detective Underpants and Lucas are preparing for the big sting.  Garland drops of a BMW 7-Series at Lucas’ garage for him to strip it of parts, with a return date of that afternoon.  But naturally the sting takes a power-slide turn for the retarded.  Through some contrived scenes, Sophie manages to convince Kate that Lucas and Underpants are preparing something for her birthday, next month.  Kate ends up locked in the garage hiding whilst the baddies be baddies in the garage. 

Neighbours Until her phone rings.

With a bit of luck Detective Underpants or Luc-arse will get caught by the baddies and face a similar trial as Maxwell Smart.

Get Smart


Summer sits at the Kennedy’s forlorn and shit.


Her sadness, whilst pleasurable, is not important right now.  It’s what she says when asked where Zeke is “No, he’s at uni doing some research for his London course.”  Suck it, London.

1257331281_vader-leia *click on picture*

But also, when was it revealed that he is going to leave? 

Back at the garage the baddies smell a rat, but before they have a chance to be baddies, Underpants’ backup arrives.

The Police thepolicefrance“You’ve officially been stung.”

Underpants goes back to routine work.


Kate finds out that Lucas was involved with the baddies and that’s why the house was broken into.  She’s furious at Lucas exclaiming “who brakes into my house,” which is the second time she has claimed ownership of that house.  Anyway, Lucas is back to being homeless. 

Lyn finds out about Summer and Zeke’s rumoured relationship and old-lady-waddles over the the Kennedy’s.  She wails and flails until Summer comes out her room and expresses her disappointment that Lyn thought the rumour was true.  I’ll bet a buck this will be resolved before the first add break on Friday’s episode.



 I just lost a dollar. To myself.

It was semi-resolved before the first add break and that’s the last I’ll say about that stupid attempt at drama.

Jade loses a bet with Toady and becomes his slave for the day.  In a shout out to Jade’s ancestry, Toady makes her drag him along in a rickshaw.


Literally noting else happens.

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