Neighbours Recap 14th – 18th March 2011



Oliver and Carmella return despite not being mentioned at all since their departure.  Even more surprising is the return of the actors who played those characters. 

NeighboursIt’s always tough going back to a former employer.

Luckily they are greeted by Declan’s creepy face.

Neighbours There’s something disconcerting about that “smile.”

Oliver has been brought back because he can sort out Paul.  That doesn’t really sit well with my memory of Oliver’s character.  In fact, I can’t remember anything about Oliver except that he lucked into owning a hotel.

The extended Napier family hang around Charlie’s and take pot shots at Paul about his amputated leg, because that’s what good people do and the viewer can now be even more sympathetic to Rebecca’s plight.  She even almost shows a hint of remorse suggesting she sometimes feels she deserves this because she pushed Paul.  Oliver quickly clarifies that she didn’t do it deliberately.  So it’s ok.

loose end Well that ties up that loose end.  Ties it up with a knot of logic.

Oliver declares that Rebecca can’t stay, she must leave Erinsborough for good.

Neighbours Gasp!

With no context, Portugal is selected as the place they should go.  I presume Oliver lives there, but I honestly don’t know.  Rebecca eventually agrees they should leave. She tells Michael, but he doesn’t want to move and Rebecca doesn’t know what to do.

Neighbours So they have sex.

The sex manages to clear Michael’s mind.  He realises that he is a dumbarse loser in his mid-forties or fifties who just got laid.  He can’t let that taco go, so he does the only thing he can.

NeighboursProposes to her.

Rebecca accepts.


Oliver tries to convince Michael that getting Rebecca to stay isn’t what is best for her.  He explains this by saying, staying here is not is what’s best for her, with no further explanation.

Neighbours “Der, you might be right.  Der”

Meanwhile, Kate is concerned that she might not be good enough for Detective Underpants, which isn’t helped by Jade telling her to find out his number.  What does “number” mean?  The amount of girls he’s humped, apparently.  Jade should chill the fuck out on the whole eye shadow thing.

Neighbours She barely has eyes to start with.

So because this is Neighbours and subtlety is completely undesirable, Kate’s concerns are heightened by Underpants almost running into a girl, who then accepts his apology and moves on. 

Neighbours But she smiled so it must be flirting.

Oh and there’s a fancy new alfresco area at Charlie’s.

NeighboursA new set is almost as exciting as a new character.

Paul finds out Rebecca is now engaged to Michael, so he promises to drag out the divorce just to make their lives difficult.  Michael gets all chesty.

Neighbours Michael’s fake aggression is really boring.  This must be the billionth time he has “stood up to Paul” clenching his fist and done nothing.  It’s quite tiresome.

Anyway, Michael eventually tells Rebecca to go, because well, I don’t know.  I guess “it’s what’s best for her.”  Rebecca takes the opportunity and ends her engagement with Michael with little thought or hesitation at all. 

In the next scene she is at Susan’s house, telling her about pushing Paul.  She again passes it off as an accident, which Susan just accepts at face value.  Honestly, why would Rebecca lie about it for so long if it was just an accident

Rebecca gives Susan the “statement of no compliant” that Paul signed a week or so ago.  It has never made any sense whatsoever why this statement was exactly what Rebecca needed to get out of Paul’s blackmailing, so I’ll refer to it as the magic pudding from now on.

supermagicpudding_narrowweb__200x326,0 “Hmm, I see.  Yes, your wrong doing is completely absolved.”

Rebecca wants Susan to file the magic pudding, which is confusing.  Susan observes that if she files the magic pudding, then the police will know she lied.  Hmmm, Portugal is making more sense now, even though it was just an accident.  Rebecca insists that the magic pudding be given to the police, because she has to protect Kate, who gave her a false alibi.  Wait what?

Apparently, Rebecca is concerned that Paul will stop at nothing to get back at her.  So what was the point of the magic pudding in the first place?  Paul signed the magic pudding, so surely he would get done for lying to the police and perverting the course of justice too. 

Well, that was an awkwardly stupid plot development.  Now we can look forward to Susan nagging Kate to go to the police.  It’ll be super awkward when she has to tell her boyfriend, Detective Underpants.  I really can’t wait to see how it develops.

Rebecca and Declan leave, although Declan’s departure is in the complete shadow of Rebecca’s.

Neighbours Yep, that’s the last time he’s on our screens.

When Paul finds out that Rebecca is leaving he emos the fuck out.

Neighbours Fuck knows why they made him suddenly care about Rebecca again.


Susan asks Kate to tell the police, Kate says no.  Rinse repeat.  Kate ends up going to the police.

In the aftermath of Rebecca’s departure Michael, being a male, must be surly as he has faced some kind of adversity.  The writers rely on Michael’s only discernable trait, surfing, and the only common ground he had with Rebecca, 80s music.

Neighbours He waxes is surfboard vigorously

Neighbours So vigorously, it’s record breaking.  Boom Tish!

Tash’s, something a rather.  Blah blah blah.

Neighbours Cans.

Neighbours Another chesty confrontation.

Having done these recaps for a while, Wednesday is easily the most formulaic day of the Neighbours week.


Kate tells Detective Underpants the truth about Rebecca pushing Paul and that she has known this for some time.  In a shocking twist, Underpants tells Kate that she’ll have to tell some other detective, because he is no longer on the case.  Another detective?  Anyway, Detective Underpants is heaps shitty at Kate.


Kate tries her best to explain that she was pressured, but Underpants is having none of it.  Here is his quote:

By who?  Your lollying ex-boyfriend?

Hahaha, “lollying.”  Classic Fakelan behaviour.

I honestly think Summer could be the most idiotic character going around.  She overhears Tash gossiping about Rebecca leaving, Being a righteous twat, Summer interjects and tells Tash to stop ripping on Rebecca, so Tash tells Summer to fuck off to the library.  Summer quickly retorts, by saying Tash should go to the hospital so she can hang out with the other bogan pregnant teenagers.

Neighbours Revealing Tash’s secret in front of nerdy gossip girl (behind Tash).

Summer then calls Tash a hypocrite, apparently unaware of what just happened and claims she deserved it.  Anyway MS Paint is too highbrow, so the Erinsborough High bullies kick it old school.

Neighbours A real cut and paste job.

Oh dear, even the mathletes are rejecting Tash, but as Tash rightly points out, they are losers so why would she care.

Neighbours Best. Casting. Ever.

Neighbours Oh god, there’s more of them.

donald-gibb-ogre-football-nerds Arrrggghhh!!!!!


Sophie seeks advice on how she can help Kate getting over being dumped by Underpants.  Sonya says she’ll speak to Kate, but before she can leave, Callum interjects with a pearler.  “No, she needs to talk to the expert,” as he points to Today “you should do it.  You’ve been dumped plenty of times.”  Classic.

Neighbours Tash sits down.

Toady explains that if Kate gets a conviction, then it might have implications on her teaching career.

Neighbours Back to dancing for you.

Andrew is pushing Tash to go and get an ultrasound.  Despite Tash’s best efforts, she’ll have to go see the doctor next week, so she orders some ultrasound picture online.  A bit odd, but all will be revealed next week.

Oh and finally, fuck you Declan.  Piss off, you’re out.

DEclan and don’t come back.


One Response to “Neighbours Recap 14th – 18th March 2011”

  1. Simon T Says:

    Letting the side down on Neighbs knowledge this week! Oliver does indeed live in Portugal – and I think he was referring to the time he and Elle tricked Paul out of all of his money.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: