Archive for April, 2011

Neighbours Recap 11 – 15 April 2011

April 23, 2011


With the all ages dance party quickly approaching, Andrew ponders a promotional poster. 


“Yes, I think the name and the logo truly encapsulate the height of lameness an all ages dance party can possibly achieve,” thinks Andrew smugly imagining dumbarse teens buying tickets.  Tomas joins him and without a sense of his own douchebaggery, he sits down with Andrew.

Neighbours Placing his man-bag on top of Andrew’s.

Neighbours I suppose pockets are useless on skinny jeans

Susan arrives at Toady’s with a “I hope your son gets well soon” lasagna, while her husband gets into the community spirit helping Lyn pack her bag.

Neighbours Apparently her house will be ready at the end of the week. 

At the dance party Tash turns up and starts nagging Andrew about drugs being sold at the party.  At least she calls out Tomas for having a man-bag. 

Eventually Michael arrives at the party to take his grounded daughter home.  I’m not sure if this is a problem for anyone else, but every so often if I’m standing around I feel like my arms just dangling there and should be doing something.  So I cross my arms and the dangling feeling goes.  Michael’s arms always look like they are dangling uncomfortably.

Neighbours This picture is terrible at capturing the danglingness of his arms.

Anyway Michael, the responsible parent he is, sees no alternative but to call the police because there might be drugs at a dance party.  I imagine the conversation went something like this:

Michael: Hi Detective Underpants, there is an all ages dance party and someone might be selling drugs there.

Underpants: That’s just the tip-off I’ve been waiting for.


Armed with this purely speculative and baseless tip-off, Detective Underpants feels obliged to search the party for drugs.

Neighbours With uniform police who would normally do this job.

Disappointed that he’s found nothing, Underpants advises Andrew and Tomas that he’ll see them later and storms off without apologising for the inconvenience caused.

Neighbours This is probably the least flattering screen shot I’ve taken of Jade.

Neighbours Porno face.

Yeah, that’s right.  Use your imagination.

Neighbours Honestly, this guy doesn’t know how to use his arms.  It’s like he is only just learning to swing his arms when he walks.

Neighbours Why?


Callum arrives back to a Sonya and Jade-less home unsure of how he should approach them now the secret has been revealed.

165650_190676890946828_165269190154265_754242_6271045_n WTF are those glasses?  Ok this is now the least flattering picture.

Anyway, after ignoring Karl’s advice, Callum turns to Paul.  Paul spurns the opportunity to make this story the front page of his newspaper, which makes us at Recaparama very sad.  It might’ve read something like this:

news-headline “Dog trainer turns out to be real bitch.”

On Paul’s advice, Callum goes to see Sonya.  In between all the jibber jabber, Sonya mentions that her mother died when she was young.  That’s confusing because didn’t Callum’s grandmother bring him up and didn’t she die just recently?  Callum can’t accept her apologies and takes the opportunity to set the record straight.

Neighbours “Don’t call me ‘Cali-wal’, you knob.”

Also this:

Callum: Who’s my father?

Sonya: Can we start with something easier?

Lame.  Also, why do they have to bring an awesome character like Callum into this crappiest shit that’s ever been crapped storyline?

Like Curly, Callum is just a victim of circumstance.


The other residents on Ramsay St don’t seem to think Sonya is insane, despite secretly being the mother of her boyfriend’s adopted son.  In fact, there’s a series of scenes in which other residents are sympathetic to her.  Including one at the General Store where Lyn tells Sonya she was in a similar position to Callum a few years ago.  Importantly that shows the writers are at least self aware of their incompetence.

Robot_-_Johnny5 Self awareness?  Time for Judgement Day.

So Lyn’s house is finished and she is moving back in.  So it took four months to rebuild her house, I guess Jim Dolan is the single greatest builder ever.  There was even a time when he was clearly lined up as a gentleman caller for Lyn, but I guess he dodged a bullet on that one.  The bullet being Oscar.

jonny-semi-kick-400x400 Wilkinson attempts an Oscar*

Sonya gets Jade and Lucas to come to Charlie’s to play pool and have a beer.  They willing come along, but when she buys a jug of beer they look on with ‘concerned face’ as she pours the beers.

Neighbours Is she not pouring it properly?  I don’t understand the problem.

Oh right, she was an alcoholic or something back in her shady past when she “’hung around the wrong people.’  She tells the others that Toady threatened legal action against her to stop her from seeing Callum.  Both Lucas and Jade are unable to offer any solution, I guess Toady, as the only lawyer in town, is also effectively the judge of Ramsay St.

photos Do you like my surrogate vest?  It’s made out of waxed chest.

Their drinking is interrupted by some douchebag and his baguettes playing terrible music and being generally horrible.

NeighboursSqueeze it out, douchebag.

  Neighbours She just can’t help but show off her sports bra.


So Callum has his first day back at school and is faced with the obligatory bullying.  His bully, having not been on the show for a while, has had a growth spurt.

Neighbours Puberty has also ruined his once angelic voice.

Libby’s new style, annoying as it is, also comes with a new haircut.  It reminds me of someone.

Neighbours It’s like Rebecca never left.

This conversation between Libby and Susan also blatantly planted the seed of her interest in Michael.  It’s kind of creepy how Susan completely ignores Michael’s previous relationship with her best friend. 

Back at the school, Callum bullies the bully in an effort to get bullied.  It’s confusing, but completely worthwhile because it provides an opportunity for the school to call both Sonya and Toady to collect Callum.  I still don’t understand why anyone is sympathetic towards Sonya.  She is clearly unstable and shouldn’t be around an impressionable child.

For the gajillionth time, Lucas and Jade give advice to Underpants and Kate about how they could get back together.  Jade will say something to Kate then the scene will change and Lucas will tell Underpants the complete opposite.  Someone in the editing room is a one trick pony and needs to fuck off.

*drop kick.