Neighbours Recap 23rd – 27th May 2011

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Monday

Summer agonises over her impending move to Bendigo so Gay Chris theorises about the possibility of going to a progressive school, where you can set your own lesson plan.

Gay Chris gaying it up ‘Mmm, period 1 sleep in, period 2 movies, period 3 basketball…’

Unfortunately that is an actual quote.  The scripting is as lazy as the characterisation.  The lack of any characterisation would normally be a bad omen for the actor and his longevity on the show, but this is Neighbours and I realise that the lack of characterisation is how the writers avoid any further complications in consistency.

6169_libby_570x428 Libby is a perfect example.

Speaking of consistency, if there is one thing we can rely on at the moment is the writers absolutely unrelenting desire to make the viewers hate Toady, Sonya and Troy as they reconcile and fight over and over again. 

Reconciliation 1 Toady apologises for being a dickhead and suggests Troy should spend more time with Callum.

Fortunately Troy walks up at that very moment.  In his striking Canadian tuxedo.

Hang out with Callum ‘Thanks Toady, that’s great.  But just let me finish my denim sandwich.’

Troy has finally got the opportunity to hang out with Callum, but to truly fulfil his ‘ruin Toady’s life’ potential.

Neighbours He hits on Sonya.

Tuesday

It seems like the writers are lazily trying their best to justify Harold’s return. First it was to help Toady through his troubles and now they’ve plodded a new girlfriend onto the scene.  Actually, a sneaky phone call reveals.

Neighbours He is actually engaged.

But that telephone call puts him in a position to reveal something even sneakier.

Neighbours Neighbours Cue dramatic music.

Detective Underpants tries desperately to secure the spare room under the lease Kyle recently acquired from Lyn.  But Kyle feels some sort of unexplainable obligation to Kate, who Underpants recently cheated on, with Jade. 

Kyle’s solution?  To get Jade to move in so there’s no room for Underpants.

NeighboursHuh?

Concerned that Kyle doesn’t make any sense, Jade asks Kate…

Neighbours …what the fuck is she wearing?

Wednesday

An ominous cloud looms over Melbourne.

sky3 Ok, so that’s more or less a normal cloud over Melbourne.

‘BOOM!’ Goes the thunder, quickly followed by the flash of intense lightning.

r235037_944714

The lightning strikes a normal suburban cul-de-sac called Ramsay Street, which is confusing as it could hardly be classified as a street.  Never mind, because the lightning has opened a hallway to earth’s cellar, HELL.  Dun dun DAHHH!

Rasmsay St

From the hole emerges an enormous puff of smoke.

Clown-Mushroom-Cloud

The smoke clears revealing a human figure of pure, pure evil.

evilclown7bc8 ‘I have come for my son, the Prince of HELLLLLL,’ he booms.

scary_clown_32 Have you seen Charlie Hoyland?

Well that explains Charlie’s ridiculous hairstyle.

Charlie It is time for me to take my throne in the kingdom of hell.

charlie Charlie and his father return home and close the doors of hell, ending Charlie’s reign of doom on earth.

Charlie returns to his true form.

Ugly-Worm-35120

The Ramsay St residents throw a party, like never before.

party

NeighboursSummer keeps complaining or something, it’s hard to tell because both Tash and I are distracted by something(s).

Lyn and Summer are driving down the street never to return, cleansing the show of two more hated characters.  But Andrew stops the car, declares his love for Summer and ruins all of my happiness. 

The worst part about all of this is I’m sure the writers were really happy with how this plot was put together.  But let’s be honest, it’s shit. For comparisons sake, take the episode in The Wonder Years when Winnie moves house and Kevin is looking down that barrel of a long distance relationship.

kevin-arnold-winnie-cooper That episode of The Wonder Years is memorable.

Neighbours This will only be memorable for future recapping joke fodder.

 Thursday

Michael meets Libby to begin mentoring her, which I guess makes Libby Michael’s protégé.  Before we move on, I too have a protégé at work.  I call him ‘rookie.’ 

Michael tells Libby a story about what inspired him to become a teacher.  The writers rely on ‘surfing’ rather than ‘80s Australian music’ this time.  Shockingly, Libby doesn’t have an inspirational story about how she became a teacher.

Taj%20Coppin-Reyne_Jaime-Robbie-2003 Her loins did all the inspiring.

Anyway, the mentoring doesn’t go well because Michael thinks a Principal can only have altruistic motives, when Libby is simply interested in furthering her career.  This is enough for Libby to leave Erinsborough and visit Ben. 

Gross.

Summer now wants to stay in Erinsborough so she can be with the love of her life, Andrew.  Based on the foundation of a relationship that has failed before and gone nowhere plenty of times, Lyn resolves to let Summer stay with Susan.  Honestly, challenging this logic is pointless, the writers clearly wanted to keep Summer.

Friday

Jade calls up her friend.

Neighbours ‘Hey, I just moved into a house with this guy, which sucks because every time anyone mentions him in my presence I get school girl crush face.’

Fortunately for Jade she can be a good time floozy with her other flatmate as Underpants decides to move in.

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