Neighbours Recap 13th – 17th June 2011

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Monday

This is completely irrelevant at this stage, but goes straight to the recaparama archives.

Neighbours It even includes an undefined upwards trending graph.  I can only assume that means improvement.

Another fucking wedding.  Yep, Harold’s wedding arrives today and his bride to be has a husky voice, argues with Lou and pretty much looks like Madge.  So rather than work out what her actual name is, we’re simply going to call her ‘Vadge.’

Meanwhile at the General Store, Detective Underpants desperately grasps at a brief conversation with Kate, inviting her over to play board games.  It’s really shaping up to be a fantastic episode.  He also proposes to play Pictionary, so here’s my thoughts so far.

Neighbours ‘Steaming pile of shit.’

Inside the General Store, Lucas is wearing a suit and eating with a knife and fork.

Neighbours Seriously.  I was shocked too.

Toady and Lou are trying to track down Harold, who has apparently gone missing.  He later appears at Madge’s tombstone.

Neighbours ‘I swear it’s not cheating if I’m sleeping with your clone,’ he pleads.

The wedding is held in some park and basically goes off without a hitch.  Each sappy line about love and forgiveness prompts a subtle but glaring close-up of either Toady or Sonya, it so painfully shit that I just want them to get back together and be done with it.

Neighbours Same goes for Undies and Plain Jane.

The writers’ failure to build any emotional connection for those characters has ultimately triumphed with consistent shit-filled repetition, that I now actually want them to get back together. 

tumblr_kss8i6KYr31qz9tjmo1_500

HomerMagic‘Looks like I just pulled a Homer’

Toady and Sonya get back together.

Tuesday

Chris and Andrew arrive at Summer’s new halfway home, the Kennedy’s, and Chris helps himself to whatever is in the kitchen.  Andrew checks out facebook on the laptop and sees someone respond to Tash’s cries for entertainment.

Neighbours He doesn’t live on Ramsay St or frequent Charlie’s?  He’s clearly a baddy.

In the aftermath of Toady and Sonya getting back together, Troy is the odd man out.  To make the transition from Troy being a tolerable father figure he quickly loses his mind, flips the fuck out and hits Toady, justifying him no longer having a role in Callum’s life.  Hopefully that is a fittingly nonsensical end to this fucking storyline.

Wednesday

Tonight’s episode appears to be solely focused on people concerning themselves with other people’s business.  Unfortunately Troy has decided not to fuck off, instead he has taken Sonya hostage.  He takes this opportunity to point out that Sonya doesn’t suit the suburban lifestyle at all and that everyone is laughing at her.

He goes on to perpetuate the writer’s desire to demonise alcohol by claiming that if she has one more drink then she’ll be right back to being all loosey goosey.

So I did a google image search for “drunk girls” to find a nice picture of the negative effects of alcohol.  I searched pages and pages of images of drunk girls and it was all amazingly excellent.  At one point I turned “safe search” off and, well, that didn’t support the anti-alcohol stance at all.

603405_f260Like I said, ‘amazingly excellent.’

Troy and Sonya fight, she wins.

At the General Store, Andrew warns Tash about her new boyfriend.  Tash takes this unwanted advice as you’d expect and then brags about her plans to go to a nightclub called Scavenger.  Later Lucas, completely unprompted, advises Andrew against going to that club because there’s always fights. 

Andrew again warns Tash about going out with her new boyfriend, but in particularly about going to Scavenger.  Tash then laments her boring life, especially as her friends are all busy.  Here is a nice quote:

Tash: You and Summer hang out, and I get that, that’s fine.  Chris is always doing basketball practice or he’s got something going on.

Poor Chris, after a few weeks they’ve already forgotten his other favourite past time, DVDs.

Anyway, Andrew tells Summer about Tash going out to a nightclub with her older boyfriend.  If anyone is familiar with Summer you will know exactly what she’ll do.  If you answered ‘get a fake ID, scrunge up some money and get wasted with her friend,’ you’re wrong.  She dobs on Tash to Michael.

With Summer’s ‘alternative’ style but bland as raw flour persona, I really, really hope she turns ‘straight edge.’  I don’t know if that’s even a thing these days, but honestly, read the wiki and tell me that doesn’t have ‘Summer’ written all over it.

Thursday

The Kennedy’s are being lined up for what appears to be a shit-filled storyline.  Karl complains to Harold and Lou about not having any room at his house now that Summer has moved in.  Now I might hate Summer, actually, I do hate Summer, but she seems like the kind of kid that’d be pretty easy to parent.  Mainly because is a boring tool.

tunnel_boring_machine_4_lg That huge boring tool in the background reminds me of Summer.

A few scenes later and Karl is asking Susan if she wants to take a little get away, but she is flat out with work and Summer, so she suggests they wait a little bit until things settle down.

Neighbours Which makes Karl furious?

Karl’s irrational fury fires, like my butt after that delicious pork belly from Spice I Am last night, when Susan suggests she go to Brisbane to visit Billy and Anne.  Karl would have to stay and look after Summer.  This is some pretty poorly constructed drama.

Friday

While Tash attempts to entertain herself at home, her mobile phone whispers.

Neighbours ‘Call Ivan.’

Do it, Tash.  The only thing more boring than your boredom is watching your boredom.

Neighbours Good girl.

If they added in facebook, this exact same thing has happened about three times in the past two weeks. 

Neighbours Voila

Except this time Ivan has a new squeeze, but that doesn’t bother Tash, who quickly gets in contact with him and suggests they continue their relationship in secret.  Ivan is keen.

Kyle is frustrated by his lack of funds and abundance of bills, he decides to ask Lou for a raise.  Lou politely declines his offer, but instead agrees to a wager:

Wager: Whoever sells the most cars by the end of the day.

Kyle bets: His life savings, the sum of $2,000.00.

Lou bets: Enough money for Kyle to start his own business, the sum of $10,000.

Despite Lou putting up a hefty sum of money, five times the amount of Kyle’s bet, he cops shit from everyone for potentially ruining Kyle’s life. So Lou wins and to him go the spoils as well as criticism from his neighbours.  Kyle quits, which is also Lou’s fault, apparently.

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One Response to “Neighbours Recap 13th – 17th June 2011”

  1. Andrey Says:

    Genius! But how does it continue! Check out what Irish network TV did to a bad Polish soap on youtube – search Soupy Norman – and tell me if doing the same to neighbours wouldn’t rate through the roof!

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