Archive for July, 2011

Neighbours Recap 18th – 22nd July 2011

July 31, 2011


Last week Summer failed in her attempt to counter the Erinsborough News’ story Paul edited to present the community garden as  a waste of space.  Well, she’s back in the PirateNet studio and she’s ready to give em’ a ribbing.

The writers have done their research this time, knowing that the car is a common place to listen to the radio.  Andrew conveniently gets Paul to give him some driving lessons, and turns the radio on.  Luckily PirateNet is an internet radio station so it won’t be available on a cheap Hyundai Getz radio.  Unluckily this is Neighbours, so the car radio magically picks up internet signals.

Summer delivers her self righteous dribble, which leaves her smugly self satisfied.

Neighbours Smug is Summer’s O Face

Andrew goes for his driving lesson and the production team goes into overdrive with the fast forward button.

Neighbours Imagine this view fast forwarded as the car drives around.  It’s nice filler.

Later Karl calls a travel agent about Peru and his phone message alert beeps.

Neighbours Pretty fancy production, huh?

The Jim Dolan storyline carries on, with Jim declining to undergo any further chemo therapy as he acknowledges he has little time left (hopefully like a week or something) so he just wants to enjoy himself.

Neighbours‘Finally I can wear jeans and joggers,’ he says.

On the plus side, Malcolm Kennedy has returned. 

Later in the episode, Tash arrives at PirateNet to talk with Summer about the graffiti attack on her house.  This time Michael conveniently tunes in right at the same time.

Neighbours On his car radio?

The writers really are lazy and stupid.  Anyway, Kyle has invoiced Tash for the work he did cleaning up.  She has to work out a way to earn $200, quick smart.


Sonya does some gardening down at the community garden.  She accidentally gets some paint on herself.

Neighbours Green thumb.  Get it?

Meanwhile at Charlie’s Paul talks with one of the councillors who voted on the sale of the community garden.  The council has agreed to sell the garden as it is expendable.

Neighbours ‘Oh, right so education is expendable?’ Summer bleats.

Yes, Summer, it is expendable.  Particularly gardening education.

Unaware of the council’s decision, Sonya looks over the garden with such joy.

Neighbours which makes the decision to sell all the more satisfying.

Neighbours It’s these moments that make watching Neighbours worthwhile.

But Sonya is right to cry, after all, she has invested two whole weeks of her life into that garden.

Also, the episode also includes two straight minutes of beach images and garden images.

Neighbours Time reads 15:02

Neighbours Ends at 17:00, which is a ridiculously long time.

The kids are outraged that they won’t be able to garden any more.  Because, kids just love manual labour.

Neighbours Both of your houses have gardens.  Garden your gardens, dickheads.

Sonya eventually decides that she wants to buy the community garden and turn it into a profitable business.  She proposes to turn it into a nursery, but keep the community garden area for the school.

NeighboursNurseries are usually huge for a reason, Sonya.  I hope this garden has a 4th dimension, otherwise your proposal is stupid.


Wednesday is quickly becoming my least liked Neighbours day and today is no exception.  It is fucking boring so don’t watch it if you haven’t already.

Sonya continues with her dream of buying the community garden.  She basically pressures Toady into working out how to finance the purchase, including them taking out a joint loan.  When it is clear that they can’t afford it, Sonya acts like a small spoilt child pleading Toady to extend his mortgage and put him under extreme financial pressure.

NeighboursWorking as a guide dog trainer does not a property owner make.

Toady refuses to take out a loan and that picture above, is Sonya’s disgusted and somehow entitled response.  It’s odd.

The other storyline is remarkably lame.  Kyle and Jade brainstorm ideas to name Kyle’s handyman business.  Jade suggests ‘Handycan’ and I’m going to avoid making a visual representation of what I’d expect the logo to look like.

Kyle’s business partner is well ahead having already decided on a name, printed marketing material and organising some kind of launch for Kyle’s new business.  Apparently people will attend this new business launch.



According to wikipedia a catatonic state is usually caused by some kind of stupor. 

Neighbours The ‘stupor’ being Kyle’s fear of public speaking.

Let me guess, like Ringo and Ned before him Kyle can’t read.  No, it’s actually the writers feeble attempt to generate some character depth in Kyle.  Kate tries to motivate him, again revealing what a bitch her character actually is, here is a quote:

Neighbours ‘I could actually use something to take my mind of things.’

She then refers to him as a distraction from the loss of the love of her life while flirting with him under the thin veil of friendship.  Kyle longs for Kate while Jade longs for Kyle.  Kate’s constant string of male suitors is ridiculous in the context of her Plain Jane appearance and personality.  But everything seems to always come up Kate.

Neighbours And another gentlemen caller.

At least this guy is clearly a cheese dick.


Despite drinking lemonade all night, Kate wakes up in a strange bed.

Neighbours ‘White wine spritzer, spritzer, sprizter…’

Neighbours Yep, she got cheese dicked all right.

Anyway, Dick Cheese is actually Dr Dick Cheese and he works with Karl and they hate each other in a Jim Dolan related matter that isn’t worth explaining.

But, yeah.  A one night stand, surely Kate will get pregnant with Dr Ricardo Mozzarella’s love child, spawning one of the largest intergalactic mafia empires in the known pop culture world.


The production team strikes again.



Neighbours ‘Jade, can you not tell anyone about me fucking Dr Richard Cheddar?  I mean it’s fine for you, but people don’t really expect that kind of thing of me.’

Neighbours‘Well I’m glad you’re always presented as the sympathetic character.’

The clash between Susan and Karl reaches new heights as Susan delays their planned trip to Peru so she can support Jim Dolan.

Neighbours I actually want him to die so much so this storyline ends.

Perhaps even more than Zeke.

Werkmeister109 Hahaha, nah.  Definitely Zeke more.