Neighbours Recap 1st – 5th August 2011



Seeing Kyle load up his ute with a wheel barrow and other tools makes Sonya sad that she can’t own the community garden.

It’s more or less impossible for anyone to feel any form of sympathy or empathy for Sonya in this storyline.  Her current job involves training dogs, which sounds like fun, but it doesn’t pay the dollars so she can’t afford to buy her one month old dream.  In other words, she doesn’t deserve to own the community garden and no amount of pouting is going to change that.

Neighbours Back to training puppies.

Replicating the magic powers from The Adjustment Bureau (a terrible movie), Jade walks out the front door.


Neighbours And then straight in from the kitchen.

Jade then talks to Kyle about Kate.  She calls Kate a two faced bitch, which is fantastic because that is exactly what she is.

Toady, seeing that his girlfriend is desperate to own the garden, has taken up a new job in a law firm.  His increased income means the credit union will pre-approve a loan for them.  So long as they win the auction, then get the community garden, all because Toady is such a nice guy.

Neighbours Sonya’s response is to yell at him.

Turns out that Sonya is annoyed at Toady for accepting the job at the law firm.  No bullshit this is an actual quote right at this screenshot.

Neighbours‘but you’ll be selling your soul to the man.’

This is Sonya’s argument about why Toady should keep running his own legal practice rather than join a law firm.  I guess that means anyone who is employed by someone else (such as Sonya right now) is selling their soul to the man.  Note the enthusiastic arm push, it’s quite an hilarious scene. 

Actually, I think Sonya might simply be a lesbian.

Neighbours Dress sense – check, big arse – check.  That’s pretty much the extent of my lesbian checklist. 


Toady starts his first day at his new job.  We are treated to him sitting in traffic, being late and then getting some work to take home.


All of this is to immediately show how much this new job is going to ruin Toady’s life.  It’s clear that this is going to be lazy and hackneyed as any other storyline.  No doubt he’ll even have to work on the weekend.  I do appreciate that working hard is presented as the worst possible thing in the world.

Anders-Lindegaard Neighbours writers hard at work.

Neighbours Nice.

Seeing Kyle’s obsession with Kate, Jade decides to go on a date with Lucas.



Disgusted at herself for making out with Lucas, Jade has an out of body experience.

Neighbours ‘Seriously, his whiskers tickle.’

Meanwhile, the teens all need to submit their university preferences today, despite not having their final marks, or having even sat their exams.  Anyway, the main drama centres around Christos’ father wanting him to do mechanical engineering, while Christos just wants to do an apprenticeship. 

Neighbours With his fancier hairstyle, waxed chest and undone buttons, it seems he is gradually catching on to what it means to be gay.  In no time he’ll be talking about Glee.

Why wouldn’t Christos simply apply for a mechanical engineering degree? 

tumblr_kvfk8mFwdG1qap83ro1_500 Oh right.

A degree would open up more opportunities beyond being simply a car mechanic and if he doesn’t like it then he can do the apprenticeship.  His dad even wants to pay his tuition, so what’s to lose?

An opportunity for the writers to force false drama down our throats.


Before Paul leaves for a week trip to New York, he makes Andrew promise to not hold any parties.  Andrew has decided to be craftier, and rent out space at his house to backpackers, all so he can afford nice accommodation for schoolies.

739078-schoolies-2009 He must really want a luxury gutter on Cavill Avenue.

After consultation with Dinnerdog, we have some fundamental concerns with the logic of this storyline.  Firstly, it is important for a backpackers hostel to have close proximity to the centre of town or other relevant attractions.  As evidenced in Toady’s recent storyline where he drives a long way to get to work in the city, Ramsey St clearly is not in a good position. 

Secondly, Paul is only going away for a week.  Seeing as though Andrew has not done any marketing at all for his scheme, it is very unlikely he would be able to attract any customers. 

Finally, hostels in Melbourne are pretty fucking cheap anyway, as in $20 per night.  There’s no way he could offer it cheaper, and if he did he’d be wasting his time.

On the other hand, I do like me a scheme, almost as much as I like me some European birds.  Hopefully this at very least provides the writers with an opportunity to write a  funny script about something stereotypically European.

16066-380x422 Like Eurotrash

Neighbours We have Eurotrash.

The Jim Dolan, Susan and Karl storyline just gets progressively worse.  I can see that the writers thought that this would be an interesting difference from the standard love triangle, but it is clear it isn’t working at all.  For example today, Karl asked Jim Dolan to give Susan some space and he did so by not answering her calls.  Susan went insane trying to find him, and when she did it was clear that Jim wanted some space.

After a brief chat with Karl, Susan miraculously concludes that Karl asked Jim to give her some space.  She then calls him selfish and jealous (surprisingly not ‘jelly’) and runs out of the house.  There’s basically no way to create drama in this storyline without making the characters behave unreasonably.  Jim will die (hopefully very soon) and they should just move on (but they won’t).


With Susan preoccupied with Jim Dolan’s fate, Karl has had plenty of time to, well, experiment.

Neighbours The jumper says ‘experimenting’ but the limp wrist says something much more fabulous.

All while his wife semi cheats on him kind of but not really.


Tash continues to get the old prawn treatment.  She sits in an empty class room

Neighbours and googles ‘sexy schoolgirl’ which returns this picture.

Not convinced with google’s response, she takes matters into her own hands.

Neighbours Rhinoplasty is a great word.

Christos finds out Tash wants to get a nose job,.

Neighbours ‘don’t come the raw prawn with me.’

He tries to reason with her, even revealing the troubles he’s had since coming out of the closet.  But it’s to no avail.  Tash knows she needs to raise $10k to get the nose job, she’ll have to pawn off some assets.

art15565wideaHardcore Pawn.


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