Neighbours Recap 29th August – 2nd September 2011

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Monday

The past six weeks I would estimate Michael has enjoyed about 20% of the screen time and I think he has said about twenty words in all that time.  His character and the idiotic storylines based on his character are used as a backdrop to his introspective brooding.

Neighbours Since this is all he does is waste time I was going to call him “Filler” from now on.

But “Stiffener” is a double barrel shot-gun as it captures both his screen time consumption and his unwillingness to swing his arms when he walks.

Jade and Kyle’s quest to get Michelle out of their house continues for the second consecutive week.  I guess Michelle is kind of annoying, but other than that she has hardly done anything wrong. Anyway, after a series of slapstick efforts to get her to move out, they finally find success by getting Dr Cheezel Stick to undertake a fake property inspection.

Neighbours “Hahaha, we’re such likeable characters who manipulate people we don’t think are cool.”

I also stumbled on some deleted scenes from Toady’s Lawman days.  In this scene he wrestles Zeke.

Lucas has successfully purchased the garage using the inheritance his father left him.  He is so appreciative of this opportunity, he decides to upgrade his father’s urn from:

Neighbours Bottom of a dirty cupboard

Neighbours to trophy status.

Exhausted from his redecorating, Lucas takes a seat and waits for customers to walk in so he can swindle them.

picture-1

Tuesday

Michelle left at the end of last night’s episode and her parting gift was to tell Sonya and Lucas about Jade and Kyle’s dalliances.  Today, Sonya takes the opportunity to take an active interest in her sister’s love life.  For no reason Jade continues to pretend there is nothing going on between her and Kyle. 

We are forced to watch Jade squirming to avoid admitting she and Kyle are having any sort of relationship.  It is revealed that this isn’t because she had a broken heart, but because she doesn’t want to have conversations with other girls (Kate) about her relationship.  I have no idea what that means, so I can only assume:

12642901066HqlJ2 “Oh so you’ve started dating our mutual friend?”

“Yeah”

“Well since he is also my friend I don’t want to know anything about his wiener.  Let’s talk about Michelle Tran.  She was such a stupid loser.”

“Hahaha, yeah, what a freak.”

Karl calls Mal.

Neighbours “Can I speak to Susan?”

“Dad, you know how I’ve been on the show for about three weeks now and I’ve kind of done nothing?  Well, this is my big moment to deliver some news.  Mum is on annual leave, so she isn’t available to do a voice over on the phone.”

“Oh right, well do you mind if we have the same phone conversation every day for the next two weeks?”

“Billable hours!”

Wednesday

There’s no way to make today’s episode entertaining.  So I’ll lazily suggest you watch some Archer, if you haven’t already.

Thursday

Dr Cheese Dick and Karl play golf with some supposedly senior doctors.  Because we all know that all doctors play golf and that isn’t a tired joke or cliche.  Afterwards Dr Cheese Dick invites them all to Red Lobster.

Red_Lobster “I’ll be at the Red Lobster in case you change your mind.  God bless!”

Toady’s new job is really putting the pressure on his family life.  To the extent that Callum is forced to be a lazy plot device and asks Toady to hang out on the weekend, when Toady has to do some extra work.  It’s such a conflicting situation and totally interesting.  In the end, Toady does his work and gets an opportunity to work on a big client.

Friday

Michael goes to the beach AGAIN.

Neighbours He doesn’t say anything he just tries to act thoughtful.

The sea noises in Tash’s head take on an 80s music video vibe.

Neighbours All glossy and shit.

Tash talks to Summer about losing her mother.  She explains that her mum died of an illness, but as she says that we flash to Michael being silent again.

Neighbours So I’m going to throw it out there that Michael killed Tash’s mum.

I mentioned a new project for Toady, well its a shopping centre somewhere in or near Erinsborough.  Since everyone on Ramsey St owns some kind of small business, no doubt this project will be presented as faceless and evil, just Mal Kennedy’s Apollo Coffee representation which tried to buy the General Store.

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