Neighbours Recap 7th – 11th November 2011

Monday

The week starts at Lyn’s old house with its current inhabitants eating leftovers, which, funnily enough is pretty much what all these characters are.

Why the fuck is Reece a character?  Though he is out pointlessed by Franga.

Those two head off to Charlie’s for a beer and an opportunity for them to be both unlikeable and drunk.  Meanwhile Jade is talking to Kyle on the phone, which makes her randy.

For Mal.

At the pub Dr Cheesedick explains his full proof method of picking up chicks.

“I say I’m a doctor.”

Congratulations writers the show is so boring that even Cliché is tired.

  Come on, Cliché, wake up.

Their attempts to pick up chicks fail so they decide to head home.  Will they stumble on Jade and Mal’s secret romance?  No. 

Expect to see this scene repeated another five times over the coming two weeks.

Andrew decides to help Summer prepare her journalism folio piece: The Erinsborough History Wall.  He borrows her laptop so he can edit the time lapse footage, but some of you may remember that video contains footage of Kate kissing Noah. 

Luckily for Kate the video contains about three weeks of footage, so Andrew will simply increase the frame rate and would likely miss the twenty seconds out of the three weeks footage that is incriminating.

Or it could be the first thing he sees.

Tuesday

Andrew tells Kate he knows about the kiss.  He shows her the time lapse footage and Kate demands that he delete the video, which would ruin Summer’s project. 

What a conundrum.

Andrew claims he can’t edit the footage because he doesn’t have the skills, which seems odd since he took Summer’s laptop to help her edit the footage in the first place.  At a loss, Andrew decides to delete the file off the computer, which is also conveniently the only copy of the footage.

Summer is very accepting of the news.

Dr Cheese and Franga continue their discussion on pick up techniques.  Franga reckons good old fashioned romance is the way to go, you know, roses and chocolates and shit.  He asks Jade for her opinion and, but she rejects it as clichéd.

What a coincidence because Mal just bought Jade flowers.

Upon delivery of the flowers his courtship of Jade takes a turn for the worse.  Despite Mal’s intentions clearly to have a bit of fun, Jade is furious that he tried to romance her.  She slams the door in his face.

Mal, you gotta treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen.

Wednesday

Summer is stressing about her exam tomorrow.  It’s not interesting, but luckily Susan is there to offer support and a montage of studying and overcoming stress.

They are sort of meditating or something here.

That’s the “A” storyline for Wednesday.  In the “B” storyline, Lucas continues his courtship of Amelia. While Lucas has Michael over for a few beers, Emelia implausibly shows up with an even more implausible story about being locked out of her house.  Michael and Emelia are not friendly, so engage pointless conflict.

Thursday

Summer enters the classroom and wait for their exam.  The exam starts and Michael is supervising.  Midway through the exam, Summer regrets having that second coffee.

It’s not sitting well at all.

She gets Michael’s attention and asks to go to the bathroom.  Per school policy, Michael follows her to the door.

Summer drops the Cosby kids off at the pool.

But she is taking too long and Michael needs to get back to the exam room.

Here’s Michael.

But Michael is caught off guard by the fetid bouquet emanating from Summer’s cubicle, he stumbles backward

and collapses on the ground.

Friday

The paramedics urgently give him a dose of oxygen.

Michael is rushed to the emergency room, where we find Tash and Summer nervously waiting in the waiting room.

“Imagine if people find out I queefed too,” we hear Summer think through a voiceover.

After running some tests, Dr Cheesedick confirms that Michael collapsed due to a stomach ulcer, much to Summer’s relief.  Unsurprisingly my brief investigation into stomach ulcers indicates that fainting isn’t high on the list of symptoms, but I’m sure that doesn’t matter.

Michael wakes up and suffers from that other common side effect of stomach ulcers, memory loss.

He thanks Summer for saving him.