Archive for February, 2012

Neighbours Recap 6th – 10th February 2011

February 26, 2012


image This picture isn’t really important, I just wanted to document the growth of Lucas’ mullet.

Emilia talks to Michael in a class room.

image “I’m with Lucas.”

The special three words Michael had been waiting to hear.


Anyway, the week begins with Lucas concerned about Kate’s almost unexplained absence.  You see Kate left a note saying that she is going to the beach, but Lucas claims that she has taken most of her stuff.  Her missing possessions are never explained, instead we find Kate at Port Douglas on holiday with Erin.

Unfortunately for Kate she is unable to enjoy her holiday because she lost her phone.

image That’s her in the background and a guy that has found it walks off prolonging this uninteresting storyline.

She eventually gets in contact with him, and as she arranges to meet him he makes some pervy observations about the photos she has on her phone.  Unconcerned by his creepiness, and apparently ready for a fresh male suitor, Kate decides to meet him by herself.

image image Except she is just too late.  Again.

That’s some crafty work there writers, bravo.

They eventually meet and the guy holds the phone ransom for one date with Kate. 

In the B storyline, and I must admit I use “B” in the loosest possible sense, Jade demands someone look after the indoor plants.  Everyone refuses, but apparently they all expect Kyle to do it because he is a pushover or something.  He pretends to throw the plants into the garbage, but secretly takes them to his shop instead to look after them.

image He’s so considerate he even bought some books for advice.

I have no idea where this version of Kyle’s character has come from, but he seems to have gone from mindless school bully, to brainless idiot and now overly caring wimp.  Hopefully his newfound sympathy will compel him to Africa to look after starving kids.


Poor Erin, just when she gets cast to go to Port Douglas, which almost makes her a cast member, the writers or directors ham her character up making it clear that they don’t even care.  In this scene, Kate arrives back in their room and finds Erin with a male friend.

image And they both do buttons on their shirts, in the most hackneyed scene in a while.

Later Kate talks to Erin about that guy who is trying to pick her up by being a creepy dickhead.  Erin suggests that it might be fate, but Kate quickly quashes that with her belief that you “make your choices and then live with the consequences.”  A statement she makes without a suggestion of self reflection even though she is literally running away from consequences at this very moment.  Kate really is a turd.

Meanwhile, Lucas is forced to tell Sophie that he doesn’t know where Kate is.  He delivers the news with the precision of a surgeon leaving out fundamental information he gathered yesterday like “she has gone travelling to the beach” in favour of:

image “She’s gone.  I don’t know where but her bags aren’t here and I don’t know when she’ll be back.”

Furious that Kate has gone on holiday without her, Sophie goes back to school, which presumably makes her more pissed that she isn’t sitting on a tropical beach in North Queensland. 

At school she finds Andrew making a music video for Red Cotton.  Sophie decides to offer some advice to make the musicians appear more rebellious.  What follows is an almost unrecapable scene.

image Sophie’s first act of rebellion is with a whiteboard maker.

She then kicks a door.


Smashes a mirror.

image Presumably by looking at it.

Seriously, that picture of Sophie’s head is the kind of thing that the internet loves.  I might just get it started.


And then my favourite.

image Smashes a toilet.

image Something must’ve smelt funny in the toilet.


In a damaging social commentary about the underfunding of public schools in Australia, Priya, twice, mentions that the school almost had to be shut for the day because that one toilet, under the building, was out of action.  It’s surprising since the toilet didn’t release any water when she broke it off its fixtures.  Maybe it’s one of those eco friendly toilets that just goes down a hole.

donkey-down-a-hole There’s got to be an ass pun here.

Speaking of toilets.  Sadly, that story is true.

Sophie gets suspended for damaging the school’s property.  Paul decides to talk to Priya and convince her to be more lenient, because “this will be on Sophie’s record,” whatever that means.  Anyway, if Sophie apologises, and means it, then she won’t be suspended.  Honestly, I don’t think the port-a-potty-pervert has seen as much shit as a regular Neighbours viewer.

Sophie decides to apologise, then does a rousing speech about how she isn’t sorry, but the writing is tired and uninspiring so Sophie gets expelled.


Sonya is furious when she finds out Callum has been fired from his newspaper rounds.  She’s so furious that she decides to go to Toady’s office and try to fuck him in a meeting room.

image Presumably to get him sacked too.


Following Sophie’s expulsion the DHS arrives at Paul’s doorstep hoping to speak to Kate.  When it is revealed that they don’t know where Kate has gone, the DHS lady explains that if she doesn’t speak to Kate within a week, then Sophie will be moved into foster care.

image Because that’s a practical outcome rather than having her live with her uncle.

Tash has a cameo appearance.