Neighbours recap Week 4 2012



Drama abounds at no.26 as Callum and Kyle’s foolproof moneymaking venture- that is, to insert a flyer advertising the Dial-a-Kyle business into copies of the Erinsborough News- hits a hurdle as the ramsay st papers inadvertently also receive flyer inserts, which, if delivered to Ramsay st residents, specifically Paul or Susan, would prove their undoing. Simply removing them from the papers isn’t an option in this case either, as Susan insists on accompanying Callum on his delivery route.

sometimes I get the impression that neighbours plotlines aren't quite what they used to be

At the coffee shop, Kate tells Karl that she thinks Rhys is just stringing Erin along to gain admittance to the surgery program. “He’s just out for himself, he doesn’t care who he hurts in the process!” moralises Kate.

"Why, he even jeopardised Summer's place in her journalism course by deleting her project in our to conceal an illicit romance with a school student!"

Armed with this knowledge, Karl approaches Rhys in the hospital and informs him that he intends to tell the head of surgery of his misdeeds. Adamant that he was acting altruistically, however, Rhys asks Karl to accompany him to lunch so that  he might prove to him that he was doing the right thing- and prove to him he does, with a visit to his retarded mother in the park.

"Rhys is such a good boy, and I can prove it with slides of family holidays and long-winded anecdotes!"

Unimpressed with Rhys’ mother’s level of disability – “perhaps, you know, if she’d had one of those Stephen Hawking voiceboxes” – Karl goes ahead and tells the surgery chief that he thinks Rhys shouldn’t be included in the surgery program. He then relays as much to a smirking Rhys, who reveals that it’s tough titties for Karl- he got in despite his meddling!

Buoyant with the news of his admittance to the program, Rhys heads to Charlies to purchase champagne and to gloat to Kate, mocking her for her lack of a proper job, nor any real prospects, and for the fact that she’s sitting in a bar all by herself, before leaving her with the bottle of champagne and the droll suggestion that she enjoy it with ‘all her friends’.

It's official, Rhys is the best character neighbours has had in years

It’s interesting to note, however, that between Kate sabotaging Summer’s journalism project and stealing the object of her sister’s affections, Michael attempting to wrest Emilia from Lucas, and everything  Jade has ever done, Rhys, the villain of the show, is the least unlikeable member of the present cast.


At the coffee shop, Zeke and Sophie hang out. I think it’s good that they’re dating, after she’d pined after him for so long.

She finds a man in a vest...irresistible

Speaking of crushes on older boys, what happened to Noah? He kinda just vanished, hey?

It’s not all roses for Zeke, however, as seconds later Callum enters and it emerges that Zeke and he share a mutual enthusiasm for video games, and that he had been feigning an interest in the bands that Sophie likes. Naturally, this proves to be a huge turn-off for Sophie and she later proceeds to say as much to Andrew.

"What kind of person pretends to be someone they're not just to impress a girl?" asks Sophie

Andrew, of course, does not point out that Sophie’s current love affair with music, her style and her opinions are a result of her having done precisely that a few weeks ago. I guess that would have been churlish. He does, however, convince her to give him another shot.

Elsewhere, bonding over their mutual hatred of Rhys, Erin and Kate share some glasses of wine and discuss the possibility of leaving Erinsborough for a faraway beach, to live a life free of responsibilities. It’s all very girl-powerish- until, that is, Erin suggests they ‘get a hot guy to do the driving’

"Driving is icky work!"

Meanwhile, at Erinsborough High, Priya has a job interview with the school board for the position of principal. Paul grills her with a barrage of tough questions in an effort to sabotage her ambitions- for, well, no reason, really- but Priya is equal to the interrogation and secures the role.

Over at no.22, Summer discovers that Andrew’s real motivation in keeping Zeke and Sophie together is motivated by a desire to secure a contract with Red Cotton, as one of the band members is the brother of Sophie’s boyfriend.

"And there's no way Red Cotton would sign a deal with someone who lives on the same street as the girl who broke up with the 10 year old brother of one of their band members!"

And in other news, Andrew’s transformation to Ellen DeGeneres is just about complete.

I'm seeing double! Four Ellens!


At the coffee shop, Sophie is unable to take Zeke’s lack of street cred any longer as she dumps him, explaining as she does so that she was only dating him at Andrew’s insistence. This is, of course, not true- Andrew having only raised the prospect of her staying with Zeke earlier that day.

Back at Erinsborough High, Michael has asked his students to read lyrics from their favourite song. The writers fondness for racial stereotypes and cliches re-emerges as  Rani Kapoor then volunteers, and recites a song from a Bollywood film, a feat made more amazing by the fact that she did so while also eating a curry, riding an overcrowded train, building a Taj Mahal and being cheap with money.

Later, at Harolds, Callum explains to Toadie his confused feelings for Rani, and toadie swiftly deduces that Callum in fact has a crush on her.

"Ok Squid, I'll talk to Priya and have the marriage arranged. You work on getting six cows for the dowry."


Fortunately for Michael, although his return to teaching has not been as easy as he’d anticipated, cutting the lunch of other ramsay st residents comes as naturally as ever, as Michael lures Emilia back to an abandoned Erinsborough High classroom under the pretence of retrieving discarded lesson plans from a bin. Alone in the classroom, he encourages Emilia to engage in some sexy role-playing, with her as the inquisitive student, and he the pedophile teacher.

"Excuse me sir, how many cheating husbands does it take for a long-suffering wife to drown herself in the ocean?"

Michael then attempts to impress upon Emilia the efficacy of his teaching methods, as he convinces Emilia, playing the role of sceptical, poetry-hating, smart-alec teen that the ‘music on her ipod is just poetry set to music’

Truly, the Shakespeare of our time.

Over at no.28, the Kennedy’s receive bad news about Audrey- she has a terminal illness and doesn’t have much time left

The Kennedy's cherished pet will soon be dead, killed via a lethal injection of cheap drama


At the coffee shop, Lucas’ confession to Michael that he loves Emilia sparks a pang of guilt from Michael, and he then heads to the park to meet Emilia and tell her that they can’t get together just yet

"At least, not until after we murder Lucas and destroy the corpse"

This stark reality hits Emilia as she sits in the park, upset by the cruelling of her chances to cheat on her boyfriend

"I guess it'll have to be Pedro the pool cleaner again"

Why are so many characters on this show so thoroughly loathsome? Lucas, Lucas, is the most sympathetic character on the show at the moment.

Meanwhile, outside their house, the Kennedy’s have a terse discussion about where to bury Audrey, with Karl eager to bury her in the backyard, but Susan is reluctant to accept this proposal, fearful that her ability to visit the gravesite could be hampered should things sour between them after the divorce.

Anyway, their bickering results in the esky containing Audrey’s chilled remains being temporarily left on the side of the road- and in the minutes it’s left unattended, a garbage truck scoops it up into its maw and drives away. Instead of dealing with this situation the Mike Tyson way, however, Karl chases down the truck and bribes the garbo for the opportunity to rifle through his refuse.

"It's funny," says Karl to Susan. "This is exactly how the hospital disposed of Jim Dolan's carcass"


One Response to “Neighbours recap Week 4 2012”

  1. Simon T Says:

    I’m impressed that Preeya went from applying the job to getting the job within the space of about six hours.

    And Rhys is a huge hypocrite. Let’s check that friend count. Kate: 2, Rhys: 0. Both pitiful, but Rhys definitely more pitiful. And looks a bit like a rat.

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