Neighbours recap 2nd-6th April



With Andrew sorting out Red Cotton’s contractual issues, they’re free to take the stage, and it appears that for this gig, Charlie’s has not been magically embiggened.

“This sucks Andrew, there’s barely enough room to dance self-consciously!”

Uncomfortably cramped though it is, the crowd were considerate enough to clear a space for Summer to sulk in.

Leaving the gig, Summer heads to Harold’s, where she’s found by Susan, who hands her, with aplomb, her first paycheque – evidence, as she puts it, that Summer is now a ‘paid journalist’.

“That’s great Suze, but can you clear off? Can’t you see i’m trying to go undercover and infiltrate a posse of 1970s cops?”

Back at work the following day, Summer proposes to Paul that she use her first paycheque to settle Andrew’s debts. Paul agrees to this. Apparently i’d imagined the multitude of scenes in recent weeks where Paul had berated Andrew for relying on handouts.

Elsewhere, asked by Paul to get some dirt on Ajay Kapoor, super sleuth Susan calls upon her wealth of journalistic experience to conduct an in-depth investigation into his personal life.

Susan: “Wow, 1 million results? I deserve a raise!”

Determined to continue her internet sleuthing, but confounded by technology, Susan quickly becomes confused.

Susan: “Paul, I’ve got a scoop! It looks like Ajay’s moving to New York. Be careful though, he knows how to kickbox!”

At Charlie’s, Paul finds Andrew and tells him that his debts have been cleared by Summer, with Andrew reacting angrily. “I’m going to find her and tell her I can pay my own debts!” he says, assertively. Apparently I’d imagined all the times he’d tried to take shortcuts toward clearing his debts.

Finding Summer at no.26, they argue, then decide to ‘have a break’ from their relationship. I guess this means that Andrew will now cheat on Summer, because that’s what Ross did on friends when he was on a break with Rachel, and the writers are plum out of original ideas.

Having learned that Tash intends to throw a party to celebrate Michael skipping town, Paul concocts a bizarre plan that involves his setting up a fake facebook account under the pseudonym ‘Conrad Jackson’. I presume the next step will involve Paul enrolling at Erinsborough High, dressed as the cool new kid from out of town, and inviting everyone to crash the party.

“Lets crash the party, homies! It’ll be shizzle!”


Because the writers of this slop do not appear to understand how the male mind works, they have Callum buy tickets to an AFL fixture in order to hang out with Toadie. When Toadie is called into work, however, they craft a scene in which Callum is distraught at the thwarted effort to spend quality time with his pops. I feel confident in saying, without hyperbole, that no teenager has ever wanted to hang out with his dad on the weekend.

At the Erinsborough nursing home, Rhys shows up  with flowers, in an attempt to grease the wheels of his relationship with his mother.

He’s on quite a roll.

Rhys’ mother’s nurse then makes her entrance. You may remember her as Babe from Ship to Shore. She doesn’t appear to have been up to much since leaving Circe Island.

“…and that bum Kelvin Crump hasn’t sent me a dime of child support!.”

It quickly becomes apparent, however, that Rhys has no interest in his mother meeting his housemates, which upsets his mother, but, as he later confides to Babe, he has his reasons.

“Kyle’s an idiot- he’d probably try to craft for her some kind of modified, high-performance wheelchair, with hilarious consequences!”

Outside Harold’s, Kyle shares his Easter plans with Jade. Basically, they involve his going back to Frankston and having three-legged easter egg hunts. You know, like a small child might do. “What are you going to do?” he enquires of Jade.

I’ll tell you what she won’t be doing- raising the issue of her being seven years older than him.

Like a spineless boy, upon seeing Jade’s disappointment, Kyle decides to forgo his cherished shenanigans in favour of spending Easter with Jade.

Jade, however, has a surprise for Kyle, one that she’d organised in secret with Sonya. And so, at the nursery, Jade and Kyle have an easter egg hunt, amidst all the other mothers with their children.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d suggest the writers are trying to furnish us with clues as to the sick, Oedipal nature of their relationship

In an unlikely coincidence, Jade and Kyle are then tasked to deliver flowers to the nursing home, where they run into Rhys and his mother, with Rhys worst fears being realised.

Kyle: “Hey, nice wheels! But i reckon they could use a sweet tune-up. How are you on streamers and racing stripes?”


It’s the day of Tash’s party, and the first 5 mins of the episode are concerned with a gripping set-piece involving Andrew talking to Chris  at Charlies, while Summer is in Tash’s bedroom, as each discusses the relative merits of being ‘on a break’. It makes for compelling viewing.

Rhys then takes his mum to the hospital to meet his boss, who proceeds to give a glowing review both of Rhys’ technical attributes and of his other qualities, indicating that he has ‘the mongrel‘ to allow him to succeed.

“Hey, leave Jade out of this!”

During the chat, however, it becomes apparent to Rhys’ mum that he;d in fact failed the first surgery exam and as such not been formally admitted until Erin quit the program. “I don’t know what to believe!” squeals the silly bitch. “I don’t even know you anymore!”

“You told me you’d been admitted to the surgery program, when in fact that didn’t happen until a few weeks later!”

Displeased at her son’s continued smugness, her angry sentiments soon turn violent.

“Don’t make me get out of this chair!” she threatens.

Over at no.24, Lou’s concern is obvious as he’s handed a bill by Lucas. I like this whole ‘Lou is poor’ storyline, it’s so fresh and exciting.

I can’t believe it was only nine years ago that Lou lost all his money to Trixie Tucker!

With the party underway, Tash bemoans the lack of attendees.

“Hey Summer, do you think it has to do with the fact that you and Chris are my only friends?”

Luckily, some extras are on hand to shore up the numbers. “Oh, look, there’s Belinda!” shrieks Tash. Meanwhile, Belinda, or Eyeballs McFreakshow, seems quite keen on Andrew.

“I’m sure that if i can snare Andrew I could get a more prominent role. Just think, I could be the next Lisa Devine!”

Later, Summer goes looking for Andrew and finds him making time with Belinda in Tash’s bedroom.

“Hang on! You’re not summer!” Andrew explains feebly. “Why, i’m not even certain that this is Hollywood Boulevarde!”












5 Responses to “Neighbours recap 2nd-6th April”

  1. Rich Says:

    I miss the fun updates 😦

    • Greg Says:

      Sorry Rich, I’ve been away and missed the last couple of weeks worth of episodes. I’m going to start recapping again at Australian pace, and the next one should be up by the weekend. I’m going to assume nothing worthwhile has happened in the interim.

      • Rich Says:

        Aside from Karls band (and a fun set of random people turning up to join it) then another doctor who magically can play a guitar showed up at the house, and Tash trying a fun series of skits to put off people from buying her house.
        Although I’m sure you could grab the official replays on the five-on-demand player, or the recaps on the official site, which aren’t as fun as the ones on here, but still 🙂

  2. Teekhi Says:

    I don’t get the entire Michael thing. “Beloved only daughter, I’m sorry I was boinking your aunt while your mother drowned, but you were a bit of a brat when you found out about it, and you have severed my link to the only thing i really loved; my car, so I’m leaving the country, also please go live in a cardboard box, thank you.” It’s about the weakest writeout I’ve ever seen in Neighbours, and that’s a pretty impressive accomplishment.

  3. Greg Says:

    I agree, it was incredibly weak, but i feel that neighbours nadir came during the ‘steph is pregnant with dan’s baby and needs to marry toadie’ storyline. Now that was a truly remarkable piece of shit.

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