Neighbours Recap 4th to 8th February 2013

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I’d imagine there were times when retired navy chefs had to return to the high seas to regrease their slush fund.  Today, I have come out of retirement to mark the return of Nicola Charles and, obviously, regrease my slush fund (that’s not a pun it just sounds dirty).  Before we get into the recapping I should point out that I’ve hardly watched Neighbours since I stopped recapping and because I have no recapping integrity I’ll probably just pretend and make it up as I go along.  It’s easier that way.

Monday

Cliffhanger_zps66d00626

I’m guessing last week ended with a cliffhanger, because we start with some high, high drama.

We find ourselves in Erinsborough Hospital as Rhys advises Lucas and Vanessa their child needs some kind of emergency operation or an ice pack or something – it’s hard to tell, but the baby is whisked off so they can operate or find some frozen peas.  Such a bold opening leaves me salivating at the possibilities….

Just imagine Rhys is Sylvester, Lucas is the douche in the helicopter and the baby is the dangling lady.

Meanwhile over at Lassiters, Sarah Beaumont (Nicola Charles) arrives and makes her way from her taxi to the hotel.  Sorry, “International Hotel.”  Callum catches a glimpse of her back…

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… and he reminds me of me – a preteen ready to be taught about the world by Sarah Beaumont.

And he only got to see her back.

Neighbours

But, wait.  Somehow Callum recognises her….

Neighbours

Why would Callum recognise a charater who left the street almost 10 years before he joined?

Back at Erinsborough hospital (seriously, there’s a pretty fast pace going here), Lucas explains Friday’s cliffhanger.  Apparently he revealed his true feelings for Vanessa, but her response was cut off by the baby’s emergency alaram.  Sounds like normal gimmicky plot progression to me.

Well if that was gimmicky, this is just plain old stupid.  Callum realises where he has see Sarah before.

From the reunion video.

From her well wishes in the reunion video, in which she never shows her back, or full body for that matter.

This is just sloppy directing, and I can usually tolerate that because it’s Neighbours.  However, in this particular instance we have a major character returning, it’s a pretty big deal for the show (even enough to prompt someone to come out of retirement) and this is the way they reintroduce her?

Anyway, Sarah’s employers are interested in purchasing or have purchased the Erinsborough News and she is there to assess ways to cut costs.  Whatever happens, it seems Paul’s days as a media mogul are reaching an end and we here at Recaparama would like to thank Paul for all the fantastic headlines over the years.  It’s been grand.

Putting last week’s cliffhanger to sleep, Vanessa declares her love for and pashes Lucas.

And the baby survived, so yeah, cliffhanger resolved.

And the baby survived, so yeah, cliffhanger resolved.

Tuesday

We’re still with Lucas and Vanessa.

and Vanessa has skipped all emotion and has gone straight into denial.

and Vanessa has skipped all emotion and has gone straight into denial.

No, it turns out the actress just couldn’t hide her disdain.  Vanessa and Lucas are a happy couple.

But happiness has its consequences on Ramsey St.  Lucas' smiling has given him an overbite.

But happiness has its consequences on Ramsey St. Lucas’ smiling has given him an overbite.

Ultimately we are rewarded for sitting through Lucas and Vanessa’s humdrum courtship when Sarah and Karl meet in her hotel room.  Rather than rekindle their old flame, they discuss their tightly held secret – they did more than just kiss 14 years ago, they slept together.  They’re really laying it on thick with Sarah’s return.  Anyway, they discuss and agree how important it is to keep this secret and how Sarah must leave.  Karl, knowing that he’d seen Susan outside the hotel just moments earlier, wisely decides to farewell Sarah in full public view and….

Susan wanders by

Susan wanders by

Wednesday

Callum and Toady visit Sarah in her hotel room.  As they begin to catch up, Sarah cooly walks over to the bar fridge, collects some food and drink and passes it to Callum.

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Oddly enough Callum is so interested in the food he no longer participates in the conversation at all.

Oddly enough Callum is so interested in the food he no longer participates in the conversation at all.

Sarah’s return has been a bit of a let down.  She comes back and causes Susan some insignificant professional grief and her big secret is that she slept with Karl almost 20 years ago.  In fact, Susan discusses her displeasure with Toady.

"I came to understand that Karl loved Izzy, but Sarah?  That was just so meaningless."

“I came to understand that Karl loved Izzy, but Sarah? That was just so meaningless.”

So why the fuck should anyone care? The only probable consequence, besides boredom, is a delay in Susan and Karl’s inevitable reunion.

At the coffee shop, Rani rues her mother’s infidelity when she too is subject to school children’s mockery.

But perhaps they have a point.

soaps_neighbours_6497_1soaps_neighbours_6535_3

Taking the Facebook bullying in her stride, the episode ends with Rani trumphantly discussing her revenge with Sophie.  Whatever could it be?

Thursday

Rani’s revenge has caused quite the scene at old Lassiters.  Three extras stand in the courtyard giggling like idiots as Paul walks past.

These people laugh as if they know Paul Robinson and when he walks right next to them, right next to the grafitti they say nothing.  Just giggle. Like idiots.

These people laugh as if they know Paul Robinson and when he walks right next to them, right next to the grafitti they say nothing. Just giggle. Like idiots.

Rani’s revenge:

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At the coffee shop, Lucas explains to Lou that he and Vanessa are dating so Lou’s family, not sure who, should move into their place as he is going to be staying at the hospital with Vanessa.

It's worth noting that at least four people have congratulated Lucas on his relationship with Vanessa, but no one has congratulated Vanessa.

It’s worth noting that at least four people have congratulated Lucas on his relationship with Vanessa, but no one has congratulated Vanessa.

OK, so Lou’s family arrives and a new family moves onto Ramsay St and into our hearts.

Looks like they've come straight from Oakie or Franga.

Looks like they’ve come straight from Oakie or Franga.

So there’s a mother, hot daughter a father (not arrived yet) and

An effeminate teenage boy who'll become fodder for Recaparama no doubt.

An effeminate teenage boy who’ll become fodder for Recaparama no doubt.

Hahaha.  Look at it.

Hahaha. Look at it.

So the father has arrived and he’s a policeman and he looks unlikeable.

At least the daughter is hot, cause this family is full of suckiness otherwise.

At least the daughter is hot, cause this family is full of suckiness otherwise.

Meanwhile, Priya’s hair doubles her body mass.

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Friday

The new kids on the cul-de-sac start at Erinsborough High.  Bailey, the “boy,” is a straight ‘A’ student, which, as my esteemed colleague observed, is simply an imprint on this Zeke carbon copy.  The daughter isn’t performing well and Kate openly worries with the mother that she may have to repeat year 11.  She quickly dismisses it though……

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as if that is something a teacher would losely mention to a student’s parent.

Ajay completes his frustration relieving boxing and, for the first time in Neighbours, boxing may lead to something other than relieving frustration.  As he takes off his gloves a girl decides to pick him up.

But Ajay isn't interested.

But Ajay isn’t interested.

Since 80s parties and the like are all the rage these days, no doubt in a few decades someone will throw a 10s party.

For reference, people don't dress like this, so this is EXACTLY what you should wear.

For reference, people don’t dress like this, so this is EXACTLY what you should wear.

The new cop/dad spends the first day on his job investigating the graffiti, until Paul asks him to drop the charges against Rani.  With apparently nothing else to do the new cop/dad pops over to Ajay’s house to advise of the dropped charges, but also to offer some worthless family advice.

He truly is a smug shithead.

He truly is a smug shithead.

Ajay deduces that Priya convinced Paul to drop the charges, which pisses him off so he goes and has a beer by himself.

Naturally the love interest who was introduced earlier in the episode also arrives at Charlie's for literally no reason and dressed for a night out on the town.

Naturally the love interest who was introduced earlier in the episode also arrives at Charlie’s for literally no reason and dressed for a night out on the town.

So Ajay leaves the bar with her and that’s your cliffhanger this week.

So that’s me done again, thanks for reading and apologies for the delay.  I found the show incredibly difficult to watch, especially at the level of detail required to piece together a recap.  Thankfully, for you and I both, the recaps will continue with Dinerdog back in full flight.

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4 Responses to “Neighbours Recap 4th to 8th February 2013”

  1. Megan Says:

    So sorry you had to suffer like that, but I’m a little glad too… Welcome back, however brief it was.

  2. Rich Says:

    So you’re back to doing it weekly? Whatever it means, good to have you back 🙂 Been following this blog for years now.

    • hotdogwehaveaweiner Says:

      I might do some guest recaps along the way, but no, this won’t be a regular thing. Greg will continue to do all the recapping.

      • Rich Says:

        Great to have you back anyhow 🙂 Shame it can’t be as regular as it used to be, I mean an entire page every week. Maybe you guys could take it in turns so neither of you get burned out? It’s an idea anyhow.

        Keep up the good work guys 😀

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