Neighbours recap 21st-25th October

by

MON

Over at number 30, Bailey looks up from his laptop and announces to Callum, “Ok, girls officially suck.”

Ever the perfectionist, Bailey made sure he was absolutely sure before revealing the results of his month-long research into online porn.

Ever the perfectionist, Bailey waited until he was absolutely sure before revealing the results of his month-long research into online pornography.

At Harold’s, Sonya convenes an emergency meeting with Susan and Kate, to eat muffins and discuss Lamb Shanks’ avid gymgoing. Despite Lamb Shanks earnestly informing Sonya that going to the gym has given her more energy, made her more social, and look and feel better, Sonya’s convinced that going to the gym with the intention of losing weight is somehow dangerous and unusual.

"As my own fat arse demonstrates," says Sonya. "I only go to the gym because I like the smell of the equipment. Like a normal person"

“As my own fat arse demonstrates,” proclaims Sonya. “I only go to the gym because I like the smell of the equipment.”

Poor Lamb shanks soon has other problems, however, as she’s picked on during class by her new teacher, Gemma, for no discernable reason. “Ok students,” announces Gemma. “Today’s homework  will be a 1000 word essay on the difference between Josie and a fat, pasty, useless heap of smelly shit.”

"Haha, just kidding class," she continues. "There is no difference."

“Haha, just kidding class,” she continues. “There is no difference.”

Smarting from the insults, Lamb shanks heads to the gym, to work out her frustrations the only way the writers know how

hahahaha..... classic.

classic.

Later, over at no.30, Kate informs Georgia that her cousin was responsible for an incident at school, and despite not having witnessed it, Kate maintains that it was Gemma’s fault, despite Georgia’s assurances that Gemma isn’t that sort of person.

"Look Georgia, I think I would know what Gemma is really like," argues Kate. "I have known her for five minutes."

“Look Georgia, I think I would know what Gemma is really like,” argues Kate. “I have known her for five minutes.”

TUE

With Amber currently performing work experience at Lassiter’s, and Imogen doing her work experience at Harold’s, both Lauren and Terese have received glowing reports from their daughters as to the ability and manner of one another. This results in Lauren and Terese striving to be more like one another

It's endlessly fascinating

It’s endlessly fascinating

Returning home from having gone to see a romantic comedy, Gemma complains to Georgia and Kyle about the film’s superficiality. Kyle listens intently, then waits until he and Georgia are alone, at which point he sits her down, and asks, with utmost sincerity, “Hey, what’s with her – I thought all chicks were into those movies!?”

"Do you reckon, maybe, she's like, got a dick?"

“Do you reckon, maybe, she’s like, got a dick?”

Over at no.26, Kate learns that Chris isn’t home, having gone out clubbing. “Do you think he’s ok?” she asks Kyle. I guess on Ramsay st, you shouldn’t try to have fun or pursue self-improvement. People will think you have a problem. Endlessly gossipping about other people’s problems on the other hand..

Later, thanks to Sheila, the plot device that is Lauren’s sketch of Brad as a teenager is finally revealed to Matt.

The likeness is uncanny

The likeness is uncanny

And on a happy note, I finally figured out who Gemma reminds me of

heh heh heh heh

heh heh heh heh

WED

Over at the coffee shop, Imogen tells Amber that she has a crush on a guy, prompting Amber to tell her to let him know, lest ‘some other girl get in there first’. Cue a shift of scene to Lassiters hotel and the return of Rhiannon Bates, Neighbours’ latest insult to regional Australians.

"What a slick hotel, Paul. Real grouse!"

“What a slick hotel, Paul. Real grouse!”

Back at the coffee shop, Lauren asks Susan whether, in the course of her 35-year marriage, she’d ever “hidden something from Karl, something insignificant, and had it blown out of proportion?”

"Oh God no!" replies Susan, shocked and slightly offended. "We've had numerous extra-marital affairs, secret children and an amnesia storyline or two, but never anything that dramatic."

“Oh God no!” replies Susan, shocked and slightly offended. “We’ve had numerous extra-marital affairs, secret children and an amnesia storyline or two, but never anything that dramatic.”

Returning home to the refugee camp at number 28, Susan learns that Karl has offered asylum to Rhiannon and her son, Jackson.

Exactly how old is Rhiannon supposed to be anyway? Her son is said to be 9, which if nothing else, making her considerably older than 18 year-old Mason. I expect the writers will never bother to address this vast age difference, a la Jade and Kyle.

Exactly how old is Rhiannon supposed to be anyway? Her son is said to be 9, which if nothing else, makes her considerably older than 18 year-old Mason. I expect the writers will never bother to address this vast age difference, a la Jade and Kyle.

Later, Imogen tracks down Josh at the gym to ask if guys are interested in “only one thing.” What follows is 15 seconds of awkward, probably unintentionally hilarity, as the writers, too dickless to use the word ‘sex’, have Josh say ‘thing’ approximately 76 times.

"but if you wait too long to  give a guy things," he explains, "his things might explode."

“but if you wait too long to give a guy things,” he explains, “his things might explode.”

Determined to tell Mason how she feels, Imogen heads to ramsay st and rehearses her speech – but before she can deliver it to him, she witnesses this:

Really, one of the more senior Ramsay st residents should have warned her that she was never going to be able to express her feelings and that something like this would inevitably occur

Really, one of the more senior Ramsay st residents should have warned her that she was never going to be able to express her feelings and that something like this would inevitably occur

THU

Over at number 22, Imogen rejects a call from the Health & Wellbeing centre, then, for no real reason, upends her handbag to reveal to us its gooey, creamy contents

"All this sneaking around is making me hungry!" she enthuses

“All this sneaking around is making me hungry!” she enthuses

Terese then returns home and confronts Imogen about missing her appointment. Imogen reacts strongly, testily informing Terese that she simply ‘didn’t feel like going.’ Terese then tells Imogen how important it is that she attend these sessions, at which point Imogen tells Terese that she forgot to go to the appointment, and didn’t get the reminder text messages as her phone had run out of battery

Of course, this only makes sense if you forget what Imogen said 3 seconds earlier, that she didn't go because she didn't want to

Of course, this only makes sense if you forget what Imogen said 3 seconds earlier, that she didn’t go because she didn’t want to

At Charlies, Rhiannon approaches Susan and asks for her help in learning to ‘talk proper’ so she can improve her prospects of landing the coveted role of receptionist at Lassiters

sounds like a problem that can only be solved with a humorous 30 second elocution montage

sounds like a problem that can only be solved with a humorous 30 second elocution montage

FRI

At the coffee shop, Paul peruses an online article published by the West Waratah Star about Hudson

I like that they refer to Chris not as Hudson's boyfriend, or partner, but as his 'gay lover'

I like that they refer to Chris not as Hudson’s boyfriend, or partner, but as his ‘gay lover’

After Jackson becomes concerned that Mason is set to replace him as the main man in Rhiannon’s life, he runs away, before being returned some time later by Chris. Eager to allay his fears of being replaced, Rhiannon soothes his concerns, the only way she knows how:

"Open wide for the motorboat!"

“Open wide for the motorboat!”

At the garage, Chris gets a phone call from his boss, who noticed Chris’ absence from his desk for 30 minutes, which, he explains, was due to him heading out to help look for Jackson. “Everyone had to drop what they were doing and help search for a lost little boy!” he complains.

"Karl even left surgery in the middle of giving a guy a heart transplant!" he explains. "And now he's dead!"

“Karl even left surgery in the middle of giving some dude a heart transplant!” he explains. “And now the guy’s dead!”

Things get worse for Chris as he then heads to Charlie’s and is made aware of of the West Waratah Star piece by Georgia, who attempts to console him by assuring him that everyone knows how hard Hudson’s imprisonment must be, which causes Chris to react furiously. “You don’t know how it feels!” he bellows. “No one does!”

He's right, it's been at least 2 years since the last time a ramsay st resident was left heartbroken when their partner was imprisoned for manslaughter after running someone over in their automobile

He’s right. It’s been at least 2 years since the last time a ramsay st mechanic was left heartbroken after their partner was imprisoned for manslaughter after running someone over in their automobile

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3 Responses to “Neighbours recap 21st-25th October”

  1. Matthew Says:

    Excellent stuff as usual. You notice how the Turners caused the whole Robbo mess in the first place, with Mason’s criminality and Amber’s liaisions but within 5 minutes they were back to normal and Chris has been the one left to cop the fall-out. The Turners really are a terrible family.

    • Greg Says:

      Thanks Matthew, you’re right, they are awful. Robocop is the most wooden actor since Ned, Mason sucks, and Bailey is Zeke mk.II. Amber can stay.

  2. Erin Says:

    Just gonna correct one thing about this entry.
    This time, the writers actually did go to the effort of establishing Rhiannon’s backstory. When she first arrived in Erinsborough, a jealous Kate was asking Mason how old she was. Mason’s response was ’24 or 25′, and Rhiannon actually did explicitly mention that she ‘was 15 when Jackson was born’. Anyway, Karl and Susan mentioned that Jackson was nine, so if you subtract nine from 24, you get 15: right on the money!
    Great blog, btw; I always read it! 🙂

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